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MC Hammer To Perform At Reds Game, Will Hopefully Refrain From Hurting Them

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In a development that makes complete sense, the Cincinnati Reds have tabbed solid gold plumbing fixture enthusiast MC Hammer to perform during the team's celebration of the 1990 World Series champions. It's completely appropriate, considering MC Hammer is pretty much the most 1990 person who has ever lived.

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This is the closest I will ever come to a reasonable justification to post this video. It's the opening theme to Hammer's cartoon, Hammerman, and it has to be the most verbose, exhaustive theme song in the history of television. I believe the show was originally conceived as a tremendously long poem in the style of The Iliad, but was canceled after about one minute.

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