No matter how deft a cameraman is, in close enough quarters, his camera is a burden. Wait, check that, His camera turns him into Lenny from Of Mice And Men: clumsy to the point of physical danger.
So with that in mind, let's send an ESPN cameraman onto the field as Argentina celebrates Gonzalo Higuain's goal in the first half. Watch as the cameraman tries to get right into the heart of the celebration, completely unbeknownst to the subjects at hand, and then enjoy the completely predictable aftermath.
What do the five fingers say to the camera? Pretty much the same thing the camera said to Heinze's face, actually.
Of course, cameramen do not count as soccer players, and Heinze wasn't up for on-field discipline for that slap. Which is probably for the best, really; if the cameraman had gotten the notion to milk a card out of that incident, we could have been treated to about 3 minutes of the best first-hand footage of diving in television history. "Look, there's the sky! And then the ground! Now his hands are over the camera! Honey, this is great!"