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Okay, Now There's A Vuvuzela I'll Accept

Look, I get it: You're tired of the vuvuzelas. You're tired of the outrage about vuvuzelas. You're tired of jokes about vuvuzelas. You're tired of college conferences and even the UFC imposing hokey bans on them. The overexposure of the vuvuzelas has wearied you to an extent that you aren't even sure at whom you should direct your rage. Your hate just turns into a dull thrumming sound in your head, not unlike that emanating from a vuvuzela.

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With all that in mind, there's no way you wouldn't, without thinking twice, accept a white gold and diamond-encrusted vuvuzela. It would become the royal scepter you never deigned to play. Either that, or you would just try to find a way to scrape the valuables off.

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That's all moot though, because no such extravagant vuvuzela exists. That's ridiculous! Who would do such a - ...oooh, shiny.

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Yes, Austrian craftsman Klemens Pointer made the ballingest vuvuzela ever - worth about $21,000 - for a Russian businessman who wants to give the bejeweled horn to his South African business partner at the World Cup final on July 11. I don't know. It sounds more fitting as this World Cup's trophy than as a showy gift.

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