- It's 5:05. They're still clearing Train's stage off the infield. This is going to be a long one, guys.
- Big round of applause for Chris Young, as 45,000 fans in attendance overcompensate for the fact that they don't know who Chris Young is.
- According to Chris Berman, Nick Swisher "leads the league in fun." Based on what happened at the end of last season, I'm pretty sure Miguel Cabrera leads the league in fun. Or at least he used to before those counselors got all uppity.
- "He can hit the long ball, this left fielder for the St. Louis Cardinals." Well I should certainly hope so. "Matt Holliday - he's hit a home run before!"
- "He leads the league in smiles, the heart and soul of the Boston Red Sox." Get your stories straight, Berman. Is it Ortiz, or is it Swisher? Or does Swisher lead the league in producing fun, while Ortiz leads the league in enjoying it? I might be overthinking this.
- Throwing out the ceremonial first pitch: Bo Jackson, who looks like half of CC Sabathia.