- Vernon Wells on May 18th: 1.002 OPS. Vernon Wells since May 18th: .695 OPS. At least the selection committee got a guy who's hot.
- The hitters don't wear batting helmets. One funny bounce on a foul tip. One funny bounce and they'll all wear batting helmets. I think Swisher'll do it. It'd be funny, and Nick Swisher leads the league in fun. David Ortiz would laugh about it.
- Only two homers for Wells after Young hit one. They gotta get some Diamondbacks to pitch this thing. I can't liveblog fast enough to keep up with this inept offensive display, which is actually kind of refreshing, given what I thought I'd be up against. Keep it up, guys! Keep sucking! You'll save my Monday.
- Coors Light is one of the official sponsors. If you went to a bar and drank one Coors Light for every home run somebody hits tonight, you might not even be legally allowed to drive home.
- Drinking game idea: one Coors Light for every Cabrera home run. One Stone Russian Imperial Stout for every Corey Hart home run. And one case of Old Rasputin for every time Chris Young makes contact. Alas, it's too late for those of us watching live. Which also works as a stand-alone sentence.