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Mayweather-Pacquiao: A Report From An Alternate Universe

Fans have been anticipating a match-up between the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Coach for some time now, but on Saturday, it appears as though a Super Bowl between the two teams will not happen within the foreseeable future.

The Saints' manager, Sean Payton, has expressed interest in a Super Bowl. "I'd love to see a Super Bowl. It would be great for the sport of football. It's really all up to the Colts now."
After the Saints' and Colts' respective defeats of the Jets and Vikings earlier in the year, a meeting between the two seems to be the next logical step.

Unfortunately, the deadline imposed by promoter Roger Goodell has passed without a commitment from the Colts. Fans are still holding out hope that a Super Bowl may still happen in the coming years, but until then, the Saints are likely to seek a string of wild card games.

In light of the news, NFL executives are reportedly hastily arranging to schedule an alternate Super Bowl between the Houston Texans and Washington Redskins. Pay-per-view revenue, of course, is likely to suffer.

Meanwhile, it's week 13 of the boxing season, and Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather, Jr., hold the best records in the league and appear the favorites to advance to the title fight. There is talk that the remainder of the season will be canceled, however, as most of the fighters cannot see or stand up at this point. Talk of extending the season to 18 games has been met with exasperated sighs and gentle weeping.

"This seems kind of dumb," remarked commissioner Bob Arum. "Why should we reasonably expect boxers to fight once a week? Oh well, rules are rules." Arum then announced that Mayweather would be fined $10,000 for his choreographed celebration following his May defeat of Shane Mosley.

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