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2010 SEC Media Days: Mike Slive Speaks; BCS Head Bill Hancock Performs Magic Tricks

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The SEC Media Days has gone retro for 2010, or at least that's the way I prefer to think of a complete internet outage at the SEC's annual media circus. It helps keep the killing rage at bay, and turns an ISP meltdown into a festive, stylish ode to our journalistic forebears who had to work without a functional internet connection. 

BCS head Bill Hancock's appearance coincided with this complete internet outage, and just as well. He labored through a regurgitation of the BCS's standard talking points with a PowerPoint presentation. 

  • The BCS makes for good competition
  • A playoff would destroy the bowl system, and possibly your mother, innocent babies, and civilization. 
  • It makes money and gives it to a lot of people. (So does the Russian Mafia, btw. At least they get cool Russian jailhouse tattoos.)
Hancock then fielded a series of questions by performing magic tricks in response, and mentioned how much he thinks while he's out on his runs. Hancock makes six figures at least for doing this, and for that I salute him. His job is the American Dream, and we would all be lucky to claim it as our own. 

SEC Commissioner Mike Slive is currently speaking, and is a vast improvement over Hancock. First he did not mention Lane Kiffin by name in reviewing the coaching changes in his opening remarks, but did mention that "the coach from Tennessee chose to return to his Western roots." Giggling is the right word for the press corps' response to any mention of Kiffin, and that itself should be framed and placed on Tennessee fans' walls. (Slive then warmly welcomed Derek Dooley to the conference by name. Slive holds his switchblade with a velvet glove.)