We have broached new territory in sports soundbite greatness when the word “pimp” sneaks into the lexicon of college coaching. Nick Saban, rolling through a breezy thirty minute stint on the podium at SEC Media Days, returned repeatedly to the topic of agent misbehavior until he lobbed this bomb in their direction.
These agents…how are they any different than a pimp?
Unless Dan Mullen delivers his entire press conference in iambic pentameter or raps his opening remarks, this will be the single best soundbite anyone gets at SEC Media Days. For the record, Saban is all for suspending agents found tampering with student-athletes’ eligibility for a year, and turned a deep shade of angry red with discussing the matter.
Saban also sped through a series of talking points obviously organized as tightly as a well-coached Cover 2:
He began by asking for questions about 2010 only, noting that Alabama lost eleven starter, their kicker, their punter, and their entire defensive secondary.
—He likened the situation to a cooking show, saying that “I used the same ingredients in the recipe as the guy on the cooking show, and it sure didn’t turn out the way it did on television.” In other news, Nick Saban has been watching the Food Network in the offseason.
—Saban also complained briefly and mildly about the number of coaches and personnel the team was allowed to use. “First we have guys who make sure players are going to class, and then they complain about how many guys we have.”
—He mentioned the increasing competitiveness of the SEC West, but left one team out: LSU.
—On a cosmetic note: until we see what Mark Richt has been working on, Saban now holds the title of Most Lustrously Tan SEC Coach. He looked like he was coated in rich cocoa butter, and could easily play the role of a yacht-mad French Riviera playboy.
—He thanked the media, and therefore engaged the room in the most awkward group hug of the day.
Next up: Dan Mullen, Mississippi State.