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Media Gimmick Saturation Files: The Layman's Camp Conditioning Test

Much maligned Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth has been the subject of seemingly endless ridicule for his repeated failure to pass a mandatory conditioning test that requires completing a 300-yard shuttle run in 70 seconds, followed by a second run conducted three and a half minutes later that must be finished within 73 seconds.

To drive home the biting point that "har har Haynesworth is out of shape", reporters and commentators from the contiguous worlds of TV, radio and the Internet have come together to conquer the conditioning test themselves. Of course, it's kind of a facile way of knocking Haynesworth, considering he outweighs each of them by a considerable amount and we'd like to see these people push a tackle sled or do an Oklahoma drill.

Nevertheless, let's encroach ever so slightly on the territory of Spencer Hall's sports memes index and examine the many examples that have cropped up since Saturday.

1. Fox 5's Lindsay Murphy


Did She Pass? No. She passed the time on the first run but failed on the second.

2. WTOP's Andrew Mollenbeck


Did He Pass? Yes.

Demerits: He's the youngest guy on the staff. RINGER!

3. Fanhouse's Michael David Smith

Did He Pass: So it would seem.

Demerits: No visual evidence presented. For shame, multi-platform new media person!

4. The Atlantic's James Fallows (who, it has been frequently noted, is 61 years old)

Did He Pass? If he is to be believed, yes.

Demerits: No visual evidence presented. Per the basic tenet of the Internet: pics or it didn't happen.

5. ESPN's Mike Golic


Did He Pass? He and Mike Greenberg claim that did, but it's questionable or at least very close.

Additional points: Golic does carry a lot more heft than the others, even if he's likely nowhere near his former playing weight.

And there you have your up-to-the-moment recap of amateur Haynesworth conditioning test attempts. No doubt this meme will only continue to trend toward the ridiculous, with Keyboard Cat, redubbed Hitler from the movie Downfall and Ragetoons guy all getting their shot. Once it reaches Xzibit forcing former WWE wrestler Test to have a go, it just may have run its course, as it were.

UPDATE: Not to be outdone, Sean Yuille, from SB Nation's own Pride of Detroit also pulled off a successful attempt. However, again we must stress the importance of video evidence.