Chad Ochocinco, No. 2: A Life More Interesting Than Yours

When we find ourselves unable to sleep in the middle of the night, we respond in different ways. Perhaps we watch The West Wing, or reflect on the consequences of napping, or tweet to our constituents that we can't sleep.

When Chad Ochocinco could not sleep, he concocted a prank against the Eagles, arrived at their hotel dressed in black, eluded security by gaining access to a window cleaning platform, and reached the outside of what he estimated to be the 26th floor with intentions of knocking on the windows and performing a pop-and-lock dance. It was then that he reconsidered, lowered himself to the ground, and retreated to a nearby Waffle House. This man is a national treasure, and anyone who says otherwise has forgotten how to love, or worse, never learned how.