Every day, we'll canvass the internet for some of the finest bits of insight you'll find from athletes, ANYWHERE. Really, you won't find it anywhere else, because these are completely made up.
Earlier today, the Washington Post's Mike Wise caused a bit of a kerfuffle over some false "reporting" on his Twitter account. At the same time, Carmelo Anthony was still explaining how he totally did NOT offer $5,000 to anyone who assaulted a groupie named Kat Stacks.
But just a few minutes ago, Wise crossed the line. In Carmelo's eyes, anyway.
Source says @carmeloanthony wants out of Denver IMMEDIATELY. Source cites gambling debts as reason for urgency. He IS on Jordan brand...
Mike Wise
MikeWiseguy
Don't believe what you hear, y'all. Lotta people talkin, not a lotta people walkin tho. #RealTalk
Carmelo Anthony
carmeloanthony
@carmeloanthony ay what up big bruh? that last tweet ain't make no sense. Lmao. U sound like @KingJames #realtalk #gibberish
ty lawson
TyLawson3
Source: the @carmeloanthony charity (www.carmelocares.org) is an elaborate ponzi scheme. #whitecollar #blamelebronMike Wise
MikeWiseguy
Ayoooo... Twitter fam. We family, right? Who wants to go smack @mikewiseguy upside his bald ass head? Carmelo Anthony
carmeloanthony
@carmeloanthony See? This is what I'm talking about! This is how rumors get started! Mike Wise
MikeWiseguy
@MikeWiseguy huh? So you're solving the problem by becoming the highest-profile version of the problem? WTF? ty lawson
TyLawson3
@MikeWiseguy that's like the Nuggets signing a big man that shoots 2 much and sucks on D. #Ohwait #AlHarrington #SMHty lawson
TyLawson3
#Reportingisdead #RealtalkCarmelo Anthony
carmeloanthony
@TyLawson3 No no.. I'm exposing the problem by becoming a caricature of the problem. Ya know?Mike Wise
MikeWiseguy
@MikeWiseguy So ur tryin to act like @KingJames too? #cotdamnty lawson
TyLawson3
Yall like money? I got 5 stacks to whoever pisses on @MikeWiseguy's head when he walkin down the street. LITERALLY!!!!!Carmelo Anthony
carmeloanthony
Videotape that ish and send it to me. put it on Youtube, daily motion, facebook. lotta video hosting sites out there. #newMedia #givingback #CarmeloCaresCarmelo Anthony
carmeloanthony
@carmeloanthony Ain't u supposed to be the #Franchiseplayer ? My ass. #SMHty lawson
TyLawson3
So, this is news: @carmeloanthony wants to videotape someone urinating on me. Not sure what that means. Mike Wise
MikeWiseguy
Someone hacked my account!!! Damn. Twice in twos days ...... #Crazy Sorry bout all that noise back there. Carmelo Anthony
carmeloanthony
@MikeWiseguy C'mon Mike... We're all trying to do our jobs over here. Carmelo wants to urinate on your head? Really? 
Dan Steinberg
dcsportsbog
@dcsportsbog No really. Go to Twitter.com/carmeloanthony for proofMike Wise
MikeWiseguy
@MikeWiseGuy His last tweet was more than 24 hrs ago, Mike. You're better than this. Dan Steinberg
dcsportsbog
@MikeWiseguy Have u ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? google dat ish #parables #RealTalkty lawson
TyLawson3
@MikeWiseguy @Tylawson3 Or he could just read my book, Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, and Priorities of a Winning Life.
Tony Dungy
TonyDungy
Okay, guys. Lesson. Learned.Mike Wise
MikeWiseguy
Back tomorrow.....