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Fake Scoop: Too Tinted For The Cops? Time To Flip The Script, Player

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According to the Tennessean, Titans WR Kenny Britt got cited Wednesday night for excessive window tinting. We invited our very own Fake Scoop to commentate on the continuing schism between players and the law. Or something.

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Sometimes I feel like the Thomas Edison of the sportswriting game. Creatin' light in an ocean of darkness. Real talk? The realest. Givin' sight to the blind, every day, every hour, right on time. Check your broke ass watch, haters.

I should get a license plate that says "SO ICY," and then have the letters iced out with diamonds. Do I own a car? Don't need one. Just put that license plate on a chain, and BAM! Say goodnight, haters.

"She said she like my license plate necklace, we started relaxin, and that's what Uncle Scoop calls a chain reaction."

Stuntin 101, class is in session. It should be illegal to be this ballin. Uh-oh, yall...

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OH HELL NO. What law was Kenny Britt breaking? Oh, Uncle Scoop has a guess. The old unwritten rule: DWBW. That's right, y'all. Driving. With. Black. Windows. SMH:

Metro police pulled over the Titans wide receiver Wednesday night because his window tinting was too dark.

Stuntin 101 taught me that when you hit the League, there are three imperatives:

  1. Buy your mama a house.
  2. Buy yourself an Escalade.
  3. Tint 'em out, playa! Tint 'em OUT.

The windows on that Escalade are a window to your soul, and that soul is black and ballin as hell! Can't tell me nothin' if you can't see nothin'. But the haters try to ruin the party.

DWBW. The old unwritten rule that always seems to catch up with athletes.

Coincidence?

Thomas Edison doesn't think so.

But Kanye West said it better than best: "Limitation spawns innovation."

If THEY are going to get mad at US for Driving With Black Windows, then we just have to switch the script on 'em. Jay said we're off Cristal and onto the next one. Uh-oh, y'all. Time to go transparent on 'em.

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Can't you hear the Kanye verse?

I'm in the Maybach, ridin /

Suicide doors /

My doors made of solid crystal /

Why can't I see inside yours?"

BAM! Stuntin 101 evolves, just like any other academic discipline. Take notes, class. Especially you, Kenny Britt. They can invent limitations, but we just keep on keepin' on with our ballin' innovations. They can't stop Thomas Edison, can they? Never that.