15. A whole bunch of Bulls hat
(Via Video Gone Viral)
yyyyep just wearin’ m’ fancy hat to th’basketball game! lookit all this neat basketball! all th’dribblin’ an’ th’passin’ an’ th’shootin’ around! oh boy! i sure do hope OH NO THEY’RE SHOWIN’ M’FANCY HAT ON TH’SCREEN oh bonkers
14. The Milwaukee Brewers are kind of missing the point of having a baseball glove
I can really dig a team with long-term identity, and thanks to the likes of Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, and a supporting cast of familiar faces, the Brewers have that. They’re fairly likable as far as teams go, and in recent history they’ve been decent-to-good.
The problem in Milwaukee is that they’ve never been good enough to make a mark. The Brewers lost the 1982 World Series. They have taken part in precisely one of the 27 postseasons that have followed. The Robin Yount/Paul Molitor Brewers couldn’t get themselves going again. The Greg Vaughn/Pat Listach/Cal Eldred Brewers were just sort of there. The Ben Sheets/Richie Sexson Brewers were bad. The 2011 Brewers are good, and I like them, but I just don’t think they’re good enough to go anywhere they haven’t been over the last 28 years.
What I’m getting at is that they can try throwing with their gloves and catching with their bare hands if they really want to, but I don’t think it’s going to change anything.
13. This is not a sports GIF.
Find a way to deal.
12. Jack Wilson, the world's most GIF-able man
(Via our own Jeff Sullivan)
God, who knew Jack freaking Wilson was so noteworthy? This is the third time he’s made the list in four installments.
I’ll admit that he probably is flapping his arms around for good reason -- he’s signaling to his teammate that he’s not going for the ball because his body would be in a worse position to make a throw -- but I don’t care. I can’t stop laughing. He resembles the four-year-old who got invited to the eight-year-old’s birthday party and is trying to play the party games, but doesn’t really know how. You are such a dang goof, dude.
11. Ron Artest gets lost in the bureaucratic maze of basketball
RIM. Sir, yes, I can help you over here.
ARTEST. Hello, I’d like to, uh, submit a dunk.
RIM. A slam dunk?
RIM. Okay, now, have you filled out your P-138 form?
ARTEST. I... uh, no, I haven’t.
RIM. All right.
RIM swivels its chair to the left, licks its thumb and forefinger, and tears a sheet of paper from a tablet.
RIM. Listen carefully. This is not the P-138 form. This is a Notice of Inquiry.
RIM peers down the hallway and points.
ARTEST. All right.
RIM. I’m going to endorse this. Fill the rest of this out, then submit it to the Three-Point Arc down the hall. He will then endorse it and tell you where to pick up your P-138 form.
ARTEST. Okay, where is that again?
RIM. [calls down hall] Roger! Roger, wave so we can see you.
THREE-POINT ARC. [sets down cup of coffee, waves]
ARTEST. There’s a line over there. Listen, I have my basketball right here. Can’t I just submit a slam dunk directly to you?
RIM. No, sir, I’m sorry. There are processes in place that we have to follow.
ARTEST. Look, I have to be at work. I’m seriously on the clock right now. I really don’t have time to be running back and forth.
RIM. Sir, there’s no need to raise your voice.
ARTEST. I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?
RIM. Well, if you’d like, you can change the construct of reality that is taking place inside of your head.
ARTEST. Oh! That’s a good idea.
ARTEST snaps his fingers.
BASKETBALL. I love you.
RIM. I know.
BASKETBALL and RIM share a passionate kiss.
ARTEST. Guys, this is why it’s such a drag hanging out with you all the time. I always end up feeling like a third wheel.
BASKETBALL. Can’t you just assume a reality in which you are a basketball player who is playing basketball in a basketball game?
ARTEST. I think it’s pretty obvious that I can’t.