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Harvey Updyke, Will Your Reign Of General Statewide Terror Never End?

Trent Richardson, the hope of the Alabama backfield of the future, was the victim of a hit-and-run accident in Tuscaloosa this morning. Who on earth thinks “menacing” Trent Richardson is a good idea? I might’ve fled the scene myself out of sheer terror. I mean, have you seen his calves? (This is all assuming it’s not an elaborate performance art stunt on the part of Harvey Updyke, which we cannot in good conscience rule out.)