The St. Louis Cardinals played the Los Angeles Dodgers Monday night. It wasn't a game that meant much - the Dodgers began Monday in last place, while the Cardinals had fallen well behind the Brewers. Nevertheless, the game itself was close, and the Cardinals held a slim 1-0 lead in the top of the eighth. And it was with two outs in the top of the eighth that Cardinals left fielder Matt Holliday had to be removed. Not because he was injured. Not because he was ejected.
A moth had flown into his ear and gotten stuck.
Holliday couldn't play with a moth in his ear, so he was replaced.
It's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and following are some of my thoughts. They are not very long.
Let's say that somebody told you that Matt Holliday was removed because a moth got stuck in him. Let's say that you didn't hear properly, and replied "a what got stuck in him?!" When the other person clarified "a moth," you would respond with a sigh of relief. This is because a moth is among the best things that can get stuck in a person on a baseball field, or at least among the least worst.
The Cardinals' trainer bolted out of the dugout. As he should have. Consider what he saw. He saw Matt Holliday suddenly clutching at his ear, in considerable discomfort. The trainer at least found out what was wrong a few seconds later. Imagine being a fan in the stadium. The fans in the stadium probably had no idea for quite some time. It's scary when people suddenly experience problems with their heads.
This is a picture of Matt Holliday clutching at his ear because there's a moth in it. However, this could also be a picture of Matt Holliday taking a very important phone call. That sounds ridiculous now, but only because we already know about the moth. When you woke up Monday morning, you probably would've thought it more likely that Holliday would take a phone call than get a moth stuck in his ear. They would've at least been about equal.
Being in pain always sucks. However, people will respond to you differently depending on the reason.
Broken leg: genuine sympathy
Canker sore: indifference
Moth in ear: laughter at your expense
A baseball player getting a moth in his ear seems to be the approximate equivalent of a baseball player getting a ball to the nuts. It royally sucks for the player, and it's hilarious to everyone else.
Holliday: Listen up guys, I have an idea.
New Era: Fire away.
Holliday: You keep baseball hats the way they are now...
Holliday: Except you include little flaps that fold down over the ears.
New Era: Why would we do that?
Holliday: Moths.
New Era: Moths?
Holliday: To keep the moths out.
New Era: To keep the moths out of what?
Holliday: The ears.
New Era: Oh, that's a great idea.
Holliday: Thanks, I-
New Era: And we could add full face shields, too.
Holliday:
New Era: To keep the moths out of the face.
Holliday: You don't understand.
New Era: Who would?
This is a close-up of a baseball player's ear. You never really notice a baseball player's ears. Why would you? We watch these players all the time, and still there are these big fleshy bits hanging off the sides of their heads we don't think about until they get moths stuck in them.
The spokesman said that that the bug was still alive after it was removed, and that Holliday kept it.