45. Jarius Wright's nutso catch
(Via @bubbaprog at Mocksession)
If this football were an email, Darius Wright would have starred it, marked it as important, caught a dozen Facebook footballs notifying him that he was tagged seven times in his friend's "Good Times at the Pumkin [sic] Farm!!!" photo album, and finally answered it a week later when his quarterback sent him a follow-up email titled, "Re: ception" because whenever you have a chance to make a great email-jargon joke like that, you have to take it.
44. Patty Mills' towel wave
Patty Mills is up there at the upper right-hand corner of the court. "hooray. good shot. hooraaaaaaay. hey guys, look, i'm talking out loud in lowercase, that's how excited i am"
43. LeGarrette Blount goes beastmode
(Via Something Awful forum member Jagfire)
The 2011 Tampa Bay Buccaneers were so, so sad. After managing a 3-1 start, they lost 11 of their 12 remaining games, in which they were outscored by an average of nearly 18 points. If you're the sort of person who believes major pro teams give up, then you might say that of the down-the-stretch Bucks, who lost each of their last five games by at least three scores.
It should be a rule: every terrible team should be provided with at least one exciting dude who makes big plays. LeGarrette Blount missed some time with injuries, and his 2011 stats didn't set the world on fire or anything, but once in a while he pulled off the sort of thing you see above.
"Playmaker on awful team" is a vital component of the sporting establishment at large. If your team loses for a long time, something happens to you, or at least me, as a fan: winning is no longer of much concern. The team is to be cheered. Not cheered to do anything, really. Just cheered. And in these times, guys like LeGarrette Blount are all you've got.
42. Hot sauce is great on everything
(Via commenter BigStein)
Including baseball. Unfortunately, this appears to be Taco Bell's "Mild" sauce, which I'm pretty sure is made by pouring saline solution out of an IV drip and mixing it with the gross plasma-like stuff that comes out of a ketchup bottle if you don't shake it first.
Please note the profound lack of reaction from the pitcher, the catcher, the umpire, or anyone in the crowd. They probably all just chalked it up as a hallucination, which everyone will see if they stare at an Astros game for long enough.
41. Derrick Rose on the court with Michael Jordan
This is taken from the awesome "opening day" promo aired by TNT prior to the games on Christmas Day. Honestly, someone could GIF any given three seconds of that video and I would love it, but this ... man. Michael Jordan on the court with Derrick Rose. It is impossible not to love this. God, what would that have been like?
MICHAEL JORDAN. wooooo slamn dunk
DERRICK ROSE. Hey, thanks man. It really is great to be able to go back in time to the 1990s and run the court with you.
JORDAN. hey do you want to play pogs
JORDAN. pogs are great, do you want to play w/them w/me
ROSE. I ... don't know what pogs are.
JORDAN. milk caps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JORDAN. you stack em up and take a slammer an hit em w/ it and powwww
ROSE. Oh, uh, all right.
JORDAN. its 1995 and pogs HAS TOOKEN THE WORLD BY STORM
JORDAN. do you want to see my pog collection
ROSE. Maybe ... later? I went back in time to play basketball, you know?
JORDAN. wellllll i got one pog that says "the bomb" its a hologram. got another thats a yingyang. its worth a buttload of money. oh and this other one is custom cut, its a 8-ball. those are the best pogs, the yingyang, the holograms, the
ROSE. Listen, they sound great, but I don't --
JORDAN. but remember you can't play pogs w/o a slammer. there's ALL KINDS OF SLAMMERS one of em is called Bigfoot, you scratch it an it smells like bubble gum. you can use the stupid plastic slammers that come w/ a pack of pogs but those are for beavises. my friend josh has a uncle who has a slammer that's MADE OF GOLD and
ROSE. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. SHUT UP! I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR POGS
JORDAN. oh um. k
JORDAN. do you want to play with pogs/a pog
JORDAN. i have a question
ROSE. Yes. What?
JORDAN. do you want to play with p--