:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/assets/846568/GIFdecemberheader.png)
15. POW
(Via @bubbaprog at Mocksession)
Okay, well, this one does require a little bit of context to fully understand it: right out of the gate in the first round, Pat Barry (black trunks) knocked Cheick Kongo on his back twice, and the announcers exclaimed multiple times that the fight was effectively done.
Kongo somehow managed to get back on his feet both times, and he managed to find a line to Barry's jaw that hit him so hard, he was out before his arm realized he was out.
That's my favorite part: Barry's arm completing the punch entirely of its own accord. I don't know why I have a favorite part. I shouldn't like this at all, because I don't like it when people suffer head trauma, but our list of major sports that don't carry significant risk of head trauma is limited to, like, golf and tennis. I'm pretty much out of the "principled stand" game these days.
14. Russell Westbrook gets T'd up
(Via @jose3030)
Russell Westbrook received a technical foul for this! That's because Dirk Nowitzki, an ordained Grand Wizard of Veteran Bullshit, is expertly familiar with what he can get away with. After all, the interpretation of the "he started it" issue varies greatly from jurisdiction to jurisdiction:
NBA: Referee rules in favor of veteran.
Between two siblings: Parent rules in favor of older child.
Between two siblings (sitcom): Both siblings ordered to undergo counseling session with live-in guitar-playing ne'er-do-well uncle.
Between you and your friend (at your house): Parent rules in favor of your friend, without exception.
Between you and your friend (at your friend's house): Your friend's mom's boyfriend stomps upstairs and instructs you both to "quit joejackin' around up here an' do ya lessons," at which point your friend informs him that both of you are on summer vacation, at which point he says, "ya sure you kids ain't got any lessons ya gotta do on account o' school," at which point your friend reassures him that he is on summer vacation, after which he responds, "well I'm gonna ask your ma, make sure ya ain't got any lessons to do on account o' school, an' if she finds out ya got any lessons she's gonna be bad at ya, just tryin' to make sure ya gettin' ya lessons done on account o' ya gotta go to school," verdict ultimately stalled
13. Lionel Messi's ridiculous goal
(Via @bubbaprog at Mocksession)
At least pitchers get their own hill, 15 seconds, and a ball with grips that they're allowed to pick up with their hand. Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate how absurdly impressive it is to find the time and space during a Champions League match to essentially throw a curveball with your foot?
12. 'Worst day ever.'
(Via @jose3030)
This beautiful moment came on the heels of a loss to the Chiefs, which was forced to overtime to begin with because Philip Rivers managed to fumble away the ball one play removed from a chip-shot game-winning field goal attempt. As a Chiefs fan, this was the happiest I found myself all year.
But I don't think I've ever seen such honest, G-rated candidness from an athlete in the wake of defeat. It was such a "d'awww bonkers" to all the angels and demons out there, and all of a sudden, I didn't dislike Philip Rivers anymore.
11. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This little girl's parents, who were kind, loving people of very modest means, died while trying to save an animal shelter full of puppies from a four-alarm fire. Upon their deaths, of the little financial capital they had, most of it was repossessed by creditors, as they had fallen into debt to make sure their daughter had enough to eat.
They had, however, managed to secret away a very small sum to be given to their daughter in the event of their passing. She was given an envelope in which she found a letter, adorned with a smattering of hand-drawn hearts, how proud they were of her and how much they loved her. They knew she loved baseball, and in this envelope they also included enough money for bus fare and a ticket to a baseball game.
The next day she stepped onto a bus, the first time she had ever done so, emboldened by memories of her mother and father reassuring her that she was a "big girl." She missed them dearly, but she was also determined to enjoy this day they would have wanted her to enjoy so much.
The little girl stood on her tiptoes to reach the reach the ticket window and tenderly presented a ten-dollar bill. Just enough for a ticket! For the first time in a long time, too long for a child, she grinned as she pushed her little frame through the turnstile and plodded through the concourse, taking in, with wide eyes, each sign that directed her closer to her seat.
Innings passed, and through each of them she sat in earnest delight. As she watched foul balls bounce into the seats, she wondered whether she was big enough, fast enough to catch one herself. And so she trotted down the steps, gluing her hands to the rail in anticipation.
And then a bat came off the ball, up in the air, right to her. She held out her arms, and for the briefest of moments, she had a baseball. She was proud.
Then the lady yanked it out of her hands and celebrated with her friends. The lady totally forgot about it the next day because she was a super-rich millionaire because she was the president of the bank that took the girls' parents money. Also, she owned the animal shelter and it burned down because she didn't spend any money on a fire alarm system because none of the dogs were poodles.
The little girl, not knowing what else to do, trudged back to her seat and began to cry. She had nobody in the world to make her feel better. She cried and cried and cried. She was all by herself. Alllllll alone.
THE END
P.S. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO