Brandon Weeden's birthday brings early interception

Happy Birthday, Brandon Weeden! You're 29 now, so I'd like to give you a few tips from spending a lot of time around people who are dreading the big three-oh.

It's tough to balance your work and home life, so definitely consider picking up some quick meal solutions from Trader Joe's. You'll want to make sure you check out their beer and wine selection. It's a way to stay 'hip' while still keeping enough money in your pocket to hit up the newest farm-to-table restaurant in Ohio City. Just looking out for you.

I know you have plenty of other things to worry about – like a sensible automobile with 4WD for those tough winter drives, a few extra items from Restoration Hardware to give your home that little pop, an herb garden because homemade sauce with basil you picked yourself is so incredibly exhilarating – but I'm here for you, bro. This way you can focus on the other things, like job performance.

Because after plays like these, I wonder about you, man. The Browns are losing again.