EAST REGION -- SWEET 16
(3) JIM THOME AND DELMON YOUNG
(2) RANDY JOHNSON HITS BIRD
Before we get to the voting, here's some hard-hitting analysis of the Animated GIF Bracket from our own Matt Ufford and Dan Rubenstein:
(3) Hi, my name is JIM THOME AND DELMON YOUNG.
In Round 2 I edged past UP CLOSE WITH JEFF VAN GUNDY, 321 to 271. My survival in this tournament is a testament to the value of simplicity. Jim Thome didn't hit a bird here, but judging from the look on Delmon Young's face, he very well could have.
(2) I am RANDY JOHNSON HITS BIRD.
I advanced to the Sweet 16 after decimating the inferior UGA HATES AUBURN, 456 to 118.
After a few minutes of number-crunching, my best estimate is that roughly 30 million pitches have been thrown in the history of Major League Baseball. This is the only evidence we have of one of these pitches actually hitting a bird. And of course, of all the pitchers who could have thrown it, it was Randy Johnson, one of the most fearsome and hardest-throwing pitchers in the history of the game. What I'm getting at here is that baseball is scripted by the Illuminati, which ought to properly explain every question you've ever had about baseball.