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Kobe Bryant Eats Only Meat, Might Live Forever

For some odd reason, ESPN created a graphic comparing Kobe Bryant to a black mamba. It raises some interesting questions.

Here is the screenshot, via /r/NBA.


1. Does Kobe Bryant really only eat meat and no plant material? If so, AWESOME.

2. Where do I get the pork Gatorade, please?

3. Why is there a picture of an Eastern green mamba when Kobe's nickname is "The Black Mamba" and the graphic mentions a "black mamba" at the top?

4. Is ESPN trying to "green wash" the NBA? I smell a conspiracy

5. Why is ESPN spreading the false rumor that Kobe Bryant is not immortal?

6. Why no mention of other obvious differences and similarities between Kobe and the identity crisis-stricken mamba? Both have two eyes and forked tongues. Kobe has two arms and hands, while the mamba is limbless. Kobe's skin is naturally matte; the mamba is glossy. What else are you hiding, ESPN?