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Phil Simms Teabags Himself

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Phil Simms apparently has a drinking problem. I don't mean that in the sense that he's an alcoholic, but that he has difficultly drinking beverages. Which is strange, since that's one of the very first -- if not THE first -- thing that they teach you as a human being.

At the end of a recent online segment for Inside the NFL, Cris Collinsworth and the others called attention to the fact that Simms had an unfortunate mishap while drinking his tea. It went a little something like this:


The real question here is: how would this even happen? I would get it if he were drinking miso soup and got seaweed caught in his teeth or something. Oh man, is this Phil's first time ever drinking tea? Does ... does he think the little teabag paper tab GOES IN YOUR MOUTH while you drink it? DOES HE THINK THAT'S WHERE THE TEA FLAVOR COMES FROM? There are just so many unanswered questions here.

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I suppose the only other rational explanation here is that Simms is a massive weirdo:


Too close to call, I guess.