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The A's are never ever ever going to San Jose

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Bill Shaikin, in the L.A. Times:

The commissioner's office has provided the Oakland Athletics with tentative guidelines for a potential move to San Jose, according to three people familiar with the matter but not authorized to discuss it.

Whoa, whoa, calm down. This Oakland ballpark/relocation process has been moving at breakneck speed. Let's all just slow down and get our bearings before we do anything hasty.

The A's have pledged to pay for a $500-million ballpark in San Jose. Once they got there, they would no longer be eligible for tens of millions in annual revenue sharing, although they would expect to make millions more from ticket sales, luxury seats and concessions.

During Selig's tenure as Commissioner, about twenty new ballparks have been built at a cost of about $10 billion, the vast majority of which was borne by taxpayers. Can you even imagine how much $10 billion is? Think of a one-billion dollar bill. Now imagine a STACK of one-billion dollar bills, TEN BILLS HIGH. Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

But seriously, if the A's have pledged to the pay for the park, Selig should use his slush fund to pay off the Giants. What's the point of having a nine-figure discretionary slush fund if you don't ever use it?

The MLB guidelines are believed to be fluid, with the objective of determining whether the A's can "satisfy the Commissioner as to the bona fides" of the relocation proposal "and as to the financial ability and character of the owners of such Club to maintain such Club."

Then someone in the room coughed really loudly but was really saying "McCourt."