When Orioles mixed with Blue Jays

So I had three ideas for baseball articles, but all three are about the Orioles and this isn't an Orioles blog or something, so instead I'm going to write one baseball article about three Baltimore Orioles. One short article about three regular-sized Baltimore Orioles.

1. Kevin Gausman pitched.
It was his first start in the majors. He lost, and now has a 3-6 record as a professional pitcher. But it's okay, because wins and losses don't mean anything!*

* Seriously, they don't mean anything. Not in this case, anyway.

Before Gausman pitched, people said Gausman routinely throws 94-96 miles an hour, and sometimes hits 98. Wednesday night, he routinely threw 94-96 miles an hour and occasionally hit 98. This was impressive, and also struck a triumphant blow for scouting reports around the world.

2. Manny Machado hit three doubles.
He's now got 21 already this season. By way of comparison, 21 doubles is more than Josh Hamilton's going to hit in the entire rest of his career. I have more to say about Machado and his 21 doubles, but am saving it for another, longer article.

3. This happened to Nate McClouth:

As if the catch weren't impressive enough, McLouth did a phenomenal job of avoiding that cup of beer (or whatever), which was dropping at 9.8 meters per second per second until it struck the SkyDome's carpeting. The other impressive thing was Buck Showalter delaying the game for about five minutes while he tattled on that poor misguided kid in the upper deck who so clumsily dropped his cup of beer (or whatever). Somehow, instead of buying that kid a new beer (or whatever), the Blue Jays actually ejected him from his seats, and presumably subjected him to that notoriously harsh Canadian justice.

Unless he's smoking crack with the mayor. Forget it, Nate. It's Hogtown.