Washington Post columnist Jason Reid wrote an article this week chiding John Wall for his new tattoos. It's not so much about the ink, Reid wrote, but about Wall's body art caprices. After publicly explaining his tattoo aversion as a 19 year-old draft pick, Wall FLIP-FLOPPED and tainted his pure, classy, clean-cut, marketable epidermis. Wall's tattoo FLIP-FLOPPING raises questions about his character, but that's only the beginning. Just look at this interview for ESPN The Magazine's "Body Issue":
Here's Wall FLIP-FLOPPING about tummies:
Last year, when I was injured, I got overweight and I didn't like myself because I had a big belly, and that's not what I want to be. I like to stay in shape, and I like to be fit even when I'm not playing. So I've been doing a lot of sit-ups and conditioning to make sure my abs are there.
And when asked about the one workout he "couldn't live without", here's Wall FLIP-FLOPPING about jump shots:
Working on my jump shot. I love that because my jump shot has improved; I've been doing the right mechanics, things like holding my follow-through. As you get more reps in and get more confident, the sky's the limit.
When the Wizards drafted Wall, he projected a clean-cut, marketable image of being a terrible shooter. Now "the sky's the limit"? What changed, John? You changed.
It should come as no surprise that Wall's FLIP-FLOPPING character issues extend to snacks:
It's changed a lot since my first year in the NBA. I used to eat fast food and burgers and stuff like that. I didn't put on weight during the season, but after the season was over, I could feel it coming. Now I eat salads, fruit, salmon, healthy things. I don't eat fast food anymore. And I don't eat ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles. I don't like sausage. I'm a different breed.
A different breed, indeed. Would Ernie Grunfeld have picked Wall if he knew he'd become a pickle-spurning salmonmonger? First, he had Gilbert Arenas waving guns around in his locker room. Now John Wall brandishes salads. It never ends for the Wizards.
And while Wall mentions the tattoos in this interview, it's not just his skin. Wall FLIP-FLOPS about his entire body:
I was always small and skinny, like a stick figure, so I wondered when I was going to grow. I was like 5'7" in 10th grade. And then one summer, I just started to grow. But nobody ever pushed me around. I never let that happen. I think basketball harnessed and built my toughness and competitiveness.
Just started to grow, eh? Probably had an expiring contract that summer, too. Wall is 22. By the time he's 25, he could grow another foot, for all we know.
Wall is due a lot of money and could still turn out great, but you better believe the Wizards didn't sign up for a 7'8 mustard hater with a jump shot and fluctuating gut. Buyer beware, as they say.