Ranking WrestleMania's 30 or so mostly terrible taglines

Based on nothing but poetry and how much each makes me want to see the event being advertised (note: I can't find the taglines for a couple of the ones in the teens -- they were probably "Get Ready to Watch Wrestling" and "Don't Forget to Pay Money to Watch Wrestling ," I bet):

1. 1: The Greatest Wrestling Event of All Time!
2. 27: The Biggest WrestleMania Ever*
3. 5: The Mega Powers Explode (hell yes)
4. 9: An Event of Epic Proportions
5. 30: Laissez les bons temps rouler
6. 6: The Ultimate Challenge

Wrasslin' Story Time

• Sex and wrestling
• The true pain of pro wrestling
• The best and worst of celebrity promos
• The WWE doesn't care about you

7. 10: Ten Years in the Making
8. 4: What the World Is Watching
9. 18: The One and Only
10. 7: Superstars and Stripes Forever
11. 2: The Premier Sporting Event of the Year!
12. 19: Dare to Dream **
13. 29: Greatness vs. Redemption***
14. 28: Once in a Lifetime****
15. 25: The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania
16. 20: Where It All Begins ... Again
17. 24: The Biggest WrestleMania under the Sun
18. 3: Bigger! Better! Badder!
19. 16: All Day Long
20. 26. Get All Fired Up
21. 22: Big Time!
22. 13: Heat!
23. 21: WrestleMania Goes Hollywood
24. 8: Friendship Torn Apart!
25. 23: All Grown Up*****
26. 17: Houston ... We Have a Problem
27. 14: dX-Raided
28. 15: The Ragin' Climax

* Hard to top, but also a lie. The main event involved The Miz. Actually, could be beaten if a subsequent WrestleMania calls itself "The Actual Biggest WrestleMania Ever."

** An event with the tagline "Dare to Dream" also used a song by Limp Bizkit called "Crack Addict" as its theme. The early 2000s remain unparalleled.

*** A fine summary of the intended Rock-Cena storyline, but ruined by that not being the actual storyline.

**** Also a lie. The Rock and John Cena would meet again a year later.

***** All grown up? It's not all grown up. It's a pro wrestling event. A pro wrestling event involving Donald Trump.