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You shouldn't bite people

Uruguay's Luis Suarez apparently bit another player Tuesday afternoon. Here are four reasons why biting people is no good.

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During Tuesday's Uruguay-Italy World Cup match, Luis Suarez apparently bit an opposing player. I'm sick of biting in sports, even though it almost never happens. That, I think, underscores how bad I think biting is, and there's more than one reason why.

1. Getting bitten feels like cr*p.

I don't remember being bitten by a person, but I've been bitten by animals such as dogs, cats and insects. Luckily, the human body is capable of tissue restoration, and after a while it stops hurting and the bite will begin to heal. That takes a little while, though, and in the meantime, it will hurt in the area where you were bitten -- usually, the exact place.

Some might say, "Who cares if I bite someone? It will just heal." Well, that's like saying, "Why don't I set this person's lawn on fire? The fire department will come and put it out." That's true, but it will take some time for the grass to grow back, and it takes time and energy to put out that fire -- just like it takes time for a bite wound to heal.

2. It's assault of another person.

Should you punch someone else out of nowhere? No. Should you kick someone for no good reason? Of course not. Biting is no different.

Think about it this way: what if you were bitten? The person who bit you doesn't have to suffer the pain or discomfort, but you do. If you bite someone else, it's the exact opposite. Just think of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If you're still thinking, "I'll bite someone else because I wouldn't care about being bitten," read on.

3. Biting can spread disease.

You can receive infections and diseases simply by kissing or sharing a drink with someone. So just think: What if those disease risks present in the mouth could penetrate the skin?

A lot of damage, it turns out. There are all kinds of diseases that could be hiding in a person's saliva, just waiting to break through tissue and cause mayhem. And they ain't pretty: Just one human bite could leave you with tetanus, or even hepatitis.

It's true that many bite-transmitted diseases can be treated with medication and rendered essentially harmless. But let's remember the fire department analogy again: Just as it takes time and money to send out a fire engine to put out the flames, it will cost you time and money -- not to mention a nasty shot in the arm, yeeouch! -- along the way.

4. It's just a rotten thing to do!

Every day, all sorts of different people do nasty things to their fellow humans. And what's more, lots of folks might go their whole lives without feeling any regret about it. But if you're like me, it's only a matter of time before you begin to feel bad about something rotten you've done.

Think back to the last time you hurt someone else -- maybe physically, or maybe emotionally. How long did it take for you to regret it? Didn't you feel bad eventually? That person's bite wound will heal before long, but they'll remember it for a long time, and it might just hurt them on the inside. You'll have to live with that, too.

You'll probably never feel the need to bite someone. But if you do, here are some sayings you might want to keep in mind.

  • If they're bitten, they'll never be smitten -- by you.
  • Why bite?
  • Biting is harmful.
  • Bites (bytes) are for computers. Not people.
  • Biting is bonkers.

But hey, don't take my word for it! If you have any other anti-biting slogans, share them in the comments!