SnapFace, MyFace, InstantFace and other social media platforms Bill Belichick has invented to make it clear he hates the Internet

Bill Belichick does not use social media. Much in the same way plants use photosynthesis to turn sunlight into food, Bill Belichick sustains himself on football. For him to spend even a millisecond looking at a phone instead of thinking about football would be an enormous waste of time.

On multiple occasions over the past few years, Belichick has made his disdain for the Internet clear by completely botching the names of popular platforms. In 2015, Belichick made fun of a reporter for using "SnapFace:"

Smiles & laughs from Bill Belichick and reporters at end of presser when Belichick asks a reporter, "What were you, on SnapFace there?"

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 7, 2015

His unlikely portmanteau reared its head again in 2017 when he was addressing a video Antonio Brown filmed on Facebook Live featuring Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin calling the Patriots a**holes.:

On @DaleHolleyWEEI, Bill Belichick asked about Mike Tomlin post-game speech. "Not on SnapFace, not too worried what they put on InstaChat."

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) January 16, 2017

He added a new one more recently, "Daily Chat":

Bill Belichick just referred to Snapchat as "Snap Face" and "Daily Chat" when talking about social media.

— Ari Wasserman (@AriWasserman) April 13, 2017

From September 2015:

"Twitter account, InstantFace, I don't have any of that," the New England Patriots coach said on WEEI Tuesday night, when asked how he kept up with information on Tom Brady's DeflateGate saga throughout the summer. "

From May, 2014:

We have a ton of information on all the players that are in the draft. What's online, you should go talk to the geniuses that are online. I don't know. MyFace, YourFace, InstantFace. Go talk to whoever you want that does that stuff. I don't know.

From July, 2011:

"I don't Twitter, I don't MyFace, I don't Yearbook," he said. "I don't do any of those things, so I'd probably be the last to know."

Social media innovation has spread to his disciples: Former Belichick assistant Bill O'Brien has repeatedly referred to "Spacebook" when asked about social media.

There are two possible options here, and both of them are very plausible:

1. Bill Belichick genuinely doesn't know the the names of any social media platforms

He knows social media platforms have a "Face" on the end or start of their names. He thinks it's possible the face belongs to somebody.

But he really just doesn't care to actually know what it is, and has never put in the energy to find out. He kinda guesses at the names of these sites based on what he hears other people saying, much like a confused grandparent, and that's how we get these mashups.

2. Bill Belichick knows exactly the names of every social media platform and intentionally combines their names to make it look like he's out of touch when really he's an omniscient wizard who understands everything about everything

Yeah, probably this one.