This is all inspired by a single tweet:
"He goes & takes those cop classes & now, he looks like a cop...He looks like Jeff Kent" are they saying Jeff Kent looks like a cop?— Michael Felder (@InTheBleachers) May 21, 2015
Jeff Kent totally looks like a cop. A lot of athletes look like cops, actually, now that we're thinking about it. Specific kinds of cops in a lot of instances, sure, but definitely cops.
For instance, yes: Jeff Kent is definitely a state trooper, somewhere.
Kevin Bass is also a state trooper.
JJ Watt is a Homeland Security officer at the Milwaukee International Airport, who wants you to form two lines, please.
Miguel Herrera is the BAD LIEUTENANT.
Doris Burke is The Chief (the good kind, who wants you to do this right or not at all).
Tom Coughlin is also The Chief (who's taking your badge and your gun and doesn't want to see your face in the department for two weeks, because you are suspended, pal).
Roger Goodell is the D.A. who just wants this case to all go away so he can work on his congressional campaign.
Mike Carey is a homicide detective and partner of Ed Hochuli. He can also fly helicopters.
Ed Hochuli is also a homicide detective, and is the partner of Mike Carey in a CBS buddy cop show.
This Mark Sanchez is a rookie traffic cop with dreams of becoming The Chief someday and really helping people.
This Mark Sanchez is a veteran undercover cop who doesn't know where the line between good and evil even starts in this roiling cesspit of a city.
Rex Ryan is an affable beat cop in Queens, who is maybe too old to be on a walking beat, but "he didn't get into this job to be pushin' a fuckin' pencil around, man."
Jim Tomsula is a corrupt corrections officer.
Mike Tice is the cop who's like, "Son, what's in this bottle? Vodka? Gimme this." [/eats bottle]
Karl Malone is the Texas Ranger who plays by his own rules and maybe also forgets and leaves his loaded gun on the table at barbecue places.
Bryce Harper is the hot-headed rookie who's one step away from blowing this whole case open -- if he doesn't blow up the department first.
Jose Mourinho is the Interpol agent who found you after years of chasing you around the globe, despite your expertise in the art of disguise and ability to travel under skillfully falsified documents.
Pete Weber is the local traffic cop who tases your mom during a traffic stop when she mouths off, and then charges her with resisting arrest.
Every NFL coach is a cop. Just look at them.
Barbaro was definitely a cop. Vice, probably. Oh, you thought he was mounted police, right? That's what you get for living by stereotype.