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Things we learned about the amazing Bartolo Colon from this New York Times feature

This is an important feature on an important pitcher, and it's worth your time. Here's what we've learned.

Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Bartolo Colon is different. He's older than other pitchers. He's shaped differently than other pitchers. His arsenal of pitches is different than that of other pitchers. As such, we celebrate him and the sport that allows him to thrive.

If you're in this business of Bartolo Colon celebration, please note that the New York Times has published a long feature on him, and we should make sure to support it.

Here's what we've learned about Bartolo Colon from this feature:

  • He trained as a kid by throwing rocks to knock coconuts and mangos down from trees.
  • He would park a pet donkey named Pancho to play baseball with balls made of cloth
  • He cares about what people on talk radio think about him
  • His dad looks exactly like you would expect
  • He would pulp up to 1,000 crates of coffee beans a day as a child
  • There is a Bartolo Colon wing of a museum that lets you simulate the de-pulping machine, awarding you the title of SEÑOR BARTOLO for 100 turns of the crank

Any more than that would spoil the fun of reading it. Go. You've wasted enough time as is.