Los Angeles' new NFL stadium features a farmer's market and an absurd valet system

Los Angeles unveiled its design for a new NFL stadium in Carson on Monday night, which could serve as the new home for the Chargers and Raiders. There's no guarantee it will be built, but the design couldn't be more L.A. if it tried. These are the six weirdest features the new stadium will have.

1. A giant Lombardi Trophy inside the stadium.

This is just aspirational thinking. Like that book The Secret. It doesn't matter that it's been decades since the Raiders or Chargers won anything ... put a giant trophy in there anyway.

2. The strangest tailgating in the NFL.

I love a good farmer's market as much as the next person, but what the heck are you supposed to do with 2 pounds of locally sourced goat cheese when you're about to see a football game? Hopefully they let you bring it in as a snack, because it'll go great with the concession stand's kale juice.

3. Drive your car IN THE DANG STADIUM.

HAHAHAHAHA! Look at all those poor people staring through the glass. They'll never own a car that nice, and they know it!

4. Priorities.

5. A sign to remind you where you are.

This is important.

6. Rich fans will be on the field behind the bench.

I'm not throwing shade here. This is awesome. I mean, it's a terrible idea -- but this increases the chance of an inebriated B-list celebrity running on the field by approximately 1 million percent. This is something we can all support.

Here's the full video, if you're so inclined. It's narrated by Kiefer Sutherland. Nobody is more welcoming that Jack Bauer.

h/t David Crane, via Tout

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