Determining Miss America is a serious matter. We need a true all-around woman to hold the title. She needs to have a talent. She needs to look good in various clothing. And she wouldn't be able to do ... whatever it is Miss America does if she wasn't able to answer questions about current events in a cogent, confident, smiley and inoffensive manner.
In Sunday night's Miss America competition, the contestants were asked questions about the issues of the day: gun control, Planned Parenthood, Donald Trump's presidential campaign and ... DeflateGate?
Yes, Miss Georgia -- aka Betty Cantrell -- was asked if Tom Brady cheated. We just spent, like, seven months debating that, and she had to answer it with no preparation whatsoever!
And it's done in 20 seconds. So much quicker than the NFL's arbitration process!
Did he cheat? Um, that's a really good question! I'm not sure. I think I'd have to be there to see the ball, and feel it to make sure it was deflated or not deflated. But if there was question there, then yes, I think he cheated. If there were any question to be had, I think that he definitely cheated, and he should've been suspended for that. That's not fair.
Miss Georgia begins by saying she's not sure. She adds, however, that if she saw or felt the ball in question, she would've been able to tell if it was deflated. I think it's pretty impressive that she can accurately detect PSI with her hands/eyes, which is definitely a talent worthy of being Miss America. That said, THE MERE FACT THAT THE BALLS WERE DEFLATED ISN'T EVIDENCE BRADY INTENTIONALLY DEFLATED THEM, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE IDEAL GAS LAW? Ugh, sorry. I'm being haunted by the ghost of a New England sports fan and every few hours he bubbles up again.
But after her initial answer, she switches paths COMPLETELY. She states that if there were any doubt, he cheated, and like Roger Goodell, thinks he should be suspended. Miss Georgia is clearly familiar with the age-old American policy that criminals are guilty until proven innocent, and as such earned the right to do ... whatever it is Miss America does.
Congrats to Betty, the new Miss America! Too bad we didn't know about you until now -- you could've saved us seven months of bad sports debates.
Then again, her first reaction after winning was... admitting she had no idea what she was talking about, saying she "thought she blew her on-stage question:"
Let's hope Judge Berman doesn't overturn her reign on lack of evidence.
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SB Nation presents: Pats fan was furious about Tom Brady's suspension