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Jerry Jones is 'as low as a crippled cricket's ass' after Tony Romo's injury

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... but how low is that

Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Tony Romo is out for approximately eight weeks with a broken collarbone. The Dallas Cowboys still won Sunday, thanks to the ineptitude of the Philadelphia Eagles, but it's still a dark day for Dallas as its faces the prospect of half a season with Brandon Weeden under center. Jerry Jones expressed it with the folksiest expression I've ever heard:

But the question is: HOW LOW IS THAT? I endeavored to find out. Unfortunately, I have a major phobia of all bugs, one that forces me to quickly and aggressively look away upon seeing an insect or a picture of an insect, so my research options are limited. But here's what I found out:

  • A field cricket -- which is a common type of cricket, so far as I can tell -- is somewhere between .59 and .98 inches long. They're way shorter than they are long, so let's estimate an average cricket is .6 inches tall.
  • Assuming crickets' asses are where asses are on most animals, the ass of a cricket looks like it's about two-thirds of the way up the cricket. So let's say the ass of a cricket is .4 inches high.
  • Now, if a cricket were crippled and had major issues with the stability of its legs, it wouldn't be able to stand well. The only thing propping the ass of the cricket off the ground would be the abdomen of the cricket. Let's estimate that if a cricket were crippled, it would be about .15 inches off the ground.

Conclusion: Jerry Jones was unhappy about Tony Romo's injury.