Don’t let Bill Murray’s tears distract you—the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in June

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” — Ferris Bueller

This quote doesn’t really apply to the Cubs winning the World Series, but Ferris Bueller is the greatest Cubs fan of all time ... so I’m very happy for him right now.

I’ve watched a lot of baseball games in my life, but Game 7 of the 2016 World Series is, by far, the best one I’ve ever seen out of both of them. It was the stuff of movies. The teams of two long-suffering fan bases playing a game 7 in the World Series. A game that went extra innings. In the rain.

This might sound like a shitty Kevin Costner movie, but it’s a real thing that happened and it was fucking amazing. It’s often a hollow, insincere platitude to say neither team should have lost but that’s truly how many of us were left feeling after this incredible game. And when all was said and done, the Cubs did it.

The Cubs did it.

It only took them 108 years but gotdammit the Cubs did it.

It only took 16 different presidents being elected since they last won it all but gotdammit the Cubs did it.

It only took Halley’s Comet passing Earth TWICE but gotdammit the Cubs did it.

And last, but certainly not least, it only took the Indians blowing a 3-1 lead but gotdammit the Cubs did it.

Now unless you’ve been living under a rock (or even worse, living in 2006 without a Twitter account) then you know the gravity of the phrase: “blew a 3-1 lead.” To call it a “running joke” at the Warriors’ expense would be to severely undersell it. It is the most unforgiving, relentless troll job we have ever witnessed in the social media era. It is at once ubiquitous and inconspicuous. It’s a paradox. It looms largely and menacingly over almost every interaction and discussion on Twitter due to how stealthily the jokes come.

A “don’t let this distract you ...” can materialize out of thin air. You don’t know when it’s coming. But you know that it is. It’s trolling guerrilla warfare. So of course in times of warfare, proxy wars will be waged as well. And one of these proxy wars manifested itself in the form of Game 7 of the World Series.

Lots of us were invested in Game 7 from a strictly baseball perspective. Lots of us were invested in Game 7 of the World Series because of the 2016 NBA Finals. The Cubs erased a 3-1 lead like the Cavs did to the Warriors.

Now here’s where you need to put your stupid goggles on because it gets really stupid. Ready? OK. So. After the Cubs win, it’s now the turn of the fans of the NBA’s Bay Area team to rejoice that an MLB team who eliminated an MLB Bay Area team went on to beat a Cleveland MLB team because Cleveland’s NBA team beat their Bay Area NBA team.

However, some fans of the NBA’s Bay Area team aren’t fans of the Bay Area MLB team that was eliminated by a MLB team that they wanted to beat Cleveland’s MLB team. Some are fans of the other Bay Area MLB team. This other Bay Area MLB team coincidentally accommodated Draymond during Game 5 of the NBA Finals so he could watch that game after being suspended for habitually attacking dicks. All of this happened. None of it makes any fucking sense. And Draymond’s insatiable thirst to inflict harm on his opponents’ penises is what set all this shit in motion.

One thing that makes sense, however, is Cleveland going Cleveland here. It happened in an extremely Cleveland-y way, too. Joe Maddon tried his damnedest to blow that game by putting a winded Chapman back in. Then a rain delay happened. It’s like God Himself sent Maddon a “lol bro? wyd?” text. The Cubs came back reinvigorated after that delay and put the game away as the clock struck 12 and Cleveland’s carriage turned back into a Browns helmet.

So Cleveland, now we gotta meme ya. Thems the rules.

One day somebody is going to find a way to MJ meme a MJ meme and the internet is going to turn into a black hole that consumes our galaxy.

Remember when Time Magazine pulled that bullshit when they put a piece of cheap ass reflective foil on their cover for their Person of the Year issue in 2006 and told us the Person of the Year was “You”? And you looked at your distorted reflection and saw your nose on your chin and your eye on your ear and thought, “What the fuck? First of all this shit is lazy and second of all that isn’t even me. That’s Popeye after a fucking stroke.” I wouldn’t be shocked if Sports Illustrated pulled some shit like this and made Blown 3-1 Leads the Sportsman of the Year for 2016. That’s how big of a year blown 3-1 leads are having.

This is my favorite moment from Game 7. What the fuck is wrong with Theo? And Bill Murray is truly the world’s greatest Cubs fan. I went with Ferris Bueller and his quote because it’s difficult to know which Bill Murray quotes attributed to him on the internet are truly things he has said.

It was a hell of a night on Twitter and Game 7 was a phenomenal display on the field. Will I tune in to the MLB for the 2017 regular season? Probably not. I’ll catch you guys next World Series. Because as the great Bill Murray once said, “You’ve got to be a potato salad sandwich eating, serial killing motherfucker with human ass cheeks in your freezer in if you pay attention to a sport for 162 games.”

Catch you next October.