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The Columbus Crew's new uniforms make them look like Minions

Going out on a limb and guessing these weren't focus grouped.

Restaurateur, TV personality and bold flavors lifestyle aficionado Guy Fieri is a Columbus native.

On Wednesday, the city's local soccer team, Columbus Crew SC, elected to subscribe to his mantra and unveil new uniforms that almost seem to have come about under the influence of Donkey Sauce:

Your full 2016 #CrewSC kits

A photo posted by Massive report (@massivereport) on


The Crew players practically look like Minions:

So where did such sartorial, um, boldness come from?

Evidently, the color scheme was inspired from the city of Columbus' official flag. That flag looks like this:

Of note -- the URL where this image originated literally begins with

A few thoughts:

  • I lived in Columbus for five years. I've never heard of or seen this flag until this moment. I was largely unaware cities even had their own flags.
  • The Crew unveiled a new badge -- and identity -- last offseason. It was universally lauded! The badge was modern and sharp and also paid homage to Columbus' German heritage. Going out on a limb and guessing these will not be as popular.
  • The people of Columbus love their Crew! The Crew are coming off a tough MLS Cup Finals loss at home. Surely they deserve better than this.

This is the face of a man who knows he's going to have to wear these at least once a week for the next 34+ weeks:

In a vacuum, the shirt part of the full kit isn't a total atrocity? The decision to go with the bright blue shorts to pay design homage to one of the tackiest looking city flags ever probably needs some revisiting, though: