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Morning Skate: Everything you love is overrated, including pie and the NHL Winter Classic

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Lace 'em up. Time for the Morning Skate.

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It's time. I will now present to you a list so controversial you might come at me with pitchforks and torches. That's fine. I can take it. Let me enter my fortified bunker first.

PIE IS OVERRATED: I'm not talking about fruit pie, or pumpkin pie or any specific kind of pie. I'm talking about all pies.* There is no dessert our society worships at the feet of more than pie, and I am here to say you all are worshipping false dessert idols. It looks like something that's been left in the oven so long its insides have melted away, and generally has the texture of fruit and dough left out in the rain and jammed inside a layer of toast. It's bad. Wake up, America.

*Pizza does not count as pie and chicken pot pie is alright. Those are the only exceptions.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN IS OVERRATED: I've never understood the love for this guy. He can't sing well, his "hits" are just OK (at best) and he over-uses the saxophone. He also loses points for calling himself "The Boss."

CHEESECAKE IS OVERRATED: It's basically just frozen pie, which makes it overrated by default. I'll make an exception for chocolate cheesecake.

CATS ARE OVERRATED: You've probably heard arguments against cats before, so I won't bore you by repeating how standoffish, self-interested and un-empathetic cats are. We only make funny memes out of them to compensate for the knowledge that they don't love us as much as we want to love them. Accept this, and both of our species can move on from this farce.

SUNNY WEATHER IS OVERRATED: Abundant sunshine brings good feelings, sure. It also brings pollen, bugs, famine and radiation that will slowly kill you.

OUTDOOR NHL GAMES ARE OVERRATED: (Hi, editors! See, I promised you this would tie into hockey at some point.) It didn't used to be this way. Remember how much of a novelty the Winter Classic was when it was introduced in 2008? The NHL had stumbled onto a fresh, exciting idea that fans could look forward to every year.

But since then, the NHL has diluted the product. Thanks to the Stadium Series, we can look forward to at least three outdoor games every year. And at least one of them will always involve the Chicago Blackhawks (a tired bit, with apologies to 'Hawks fans). On Tuesday, the league announced the matchups for the 2017 Winter Classic and Stadium Series, and even threw in a new outdoor game called the Centennial Classic.

The response? Tepid excitement mixed with indifference and annoyance at the same teams getting outdoor games again. Leave it to the NHL to squeeze interest out of a great thing in the span of seven years.


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