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Broncos DC Wade Phillips gives us a tour of the White House

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Who better to give us our own personal tour than the 68-year-old Twitter genius?

The Denver Broncos -- most of them, anyway -- are being honored at the White House on Monday for their victory in Super Bowl 50. It's not easy for us non-Super Bowl winners to get a personal tour of the White House, but at least thanks to social media, we can live vicariously through the Broncos.

Wade Phillips has been lauded for his defensive schemes, but his real genius lies in how he uses Twitter. So who better to give us our very own, and very literal, White House tour than the Broncos' 68-year-old defensive coordinator?

A look at one side of the White House

I watch Veep, so I'm fairly certain this is actually the backyard of the White House. But it's OK, let's move on. You'll do better the next time, Wade.

Freshly cut grass

I'm no landscaper, but we know there's a house and that looks like grass. Pretty sure that's all you need to classify this as a lawn. Much better, Wade!

Swordplay

Wade, the front/back mixup is in the past. We know you're not going to lie to us. This looks pointy and old so we'll believe you when you say it belonged to the father of our country.

For the red staters

For the color blind, I can tell you there's a lot of red in this room.

For the blue staters

It's got walls and some blue trim. Verdict says: blue room.

Geography lesson

I am terrible with directions. Let's just say this is indeed a room in the east wing.

Useful knowledge

Not to "well actually" you Wade, but this is called the Benjamin Franklin State Dining Room. Still a cool pic, though.

Profiles in Courage

That is the famous portrait of the 35th president of the United States. And you know what? Wade's right. He's not too cool to admit that it's a neat experience to visit the White House and see these iconic pieces of American history up close.

* * *

Thanks for the tour, Wade. You kept it simple and straightforward and we appreciate the--oh, no, what is this

Secret Service, escort this man out, please.