The 2016 Rio Olympics are planning for athletes to have sex. A lot of sex. So much sex that the sex quotients are off the charts. We know this because the IOC is supplying the 10,000 athletes at the summer games with 450,000 condoms.
Sex stories of the Olympic village is the reality TV show the world needs and will never, ever get. Urban legends that come from the Olympic Games are prevalent. It’s what happens when you take 10,000 of the world’s best athletes, all of whom happen to be at their peak physical condition and put them in a pressure cooker where everyone is beautiful. In 2014 at Sochi we learned that Tinder was taking over the Olympic village, so it’s no wonder that there will be a lot of boning.
Let’s break down the sex stats.
The IOC is supplying the Olympic village with the following:
- 350,000 male condoms.
- 100,000 female condoms.
- 175,000 packets of lubricant.
The 2016 games will last from Aug. 5 until Aug. 21. That’s 16 days. Obviously some athletes will arrive earlier, others will leave sooner — so let’s just assume every athlete is there for the 16 days of the games themselves.
Here’s where sex estimates (or sextimates if you like portmanteaus) get tricky. We don’t know much about the Olympic village itself, but it’s safe to assume that there aren’t many non-Olympians getting into the village or athletes getting out. Also, let’s not pretend for a second that Olympians are entertaining us normos when they have a smorgasbord of Olympians available.
If every single Olympian paired up here’s what happens:
- 45 condoms per individual athlete.
- 90 per pair of athletes.
- 5.6 condoms per day.
- Assuming each athlete spent 10 minutes having sex per condom (they’re used to setting quick times) the 2016 Olympians would spend 75,000 hours having sex.
- That’s 8.5 years of sex.
- Using a total of 185 gallons of personal lubricant.
- According to Trojan, the average length of a male condom is 7.5 inches. Assuming all 350,000 are the same size ...
Bravo Olympians. Have fun, be safe.
(h/t The Daily Beast)