The Golden State Warriors aren’t just a team -- they’re a superteam. That horrible phrase that strikes fear into the hearts of parity-loving basketball fans.
At this point you can do one of two things: Continue to scream about Kevin Durant wanting to win, OR accept the reality that the Warriors will be incredible and use it as a chance to get some NBA stars of yesteryear a ring. The correct answer is the latter.
There are a lot of great suggestions for who the Warriors could add, but we have some ideas.
1. God Shammgod
Every time a player wins a championship they thank God. What most people don’t know is that they’re not offering up praise to a deity, but rather paying respect to the former Washington Wizards point guard. Shammgod needs a ring for everything he has done for athletes everywhere.
2. Tracy McGrady
T-Mac is in dire need of a ring. He wants a ring so badly he begged Robert Horry for one.
McGrady is one of the best players to never sniff a championship. We need to change that. The only problem is that whole "Stephen Curry won in a watered down league" thing.
3. Ray Allen
This one is on the verge of becoming true. He’s got two rings, sure — but three is too poetic for one of the greatest three-point shooters of all time. Plus if we have God on the team we need Jesus (Shuttlesworth).
4. Dell Curry
Who doesn’t love a good father-and-son story? This is a movie waiting to happen. Dell throws off the shackles of being a Charlotte Hornets announcer, heads to the West Coast and teams up with his son to win the ring that eluded him during his career.
Plus it sets up the most awkward Thanksgiving of all time for poor Seth Curry.
5. Charles Barkley
The Warriors are set in the backcourt, so let's get them some toughness in the paint. Chuck has tried the superteam thing once before with Houston in 1996-97 and it almost worked. Might as well try it again.
Barkley has slammed Durant for going to the Warriors, but sticking 53-year-old Chuck on them immediately makes the team worse. That subtraction by addition will help legitimize the Warriors’ eventual championship.
6. Duane Causwell
Star of the internet-favorite Causwell meme, Duane needs to be on this team. Just think of Twitter when they finally win!
7. Reggie Miller
You’ve got Stephen Curry and Ray Allen, so by extension we need to add Reggie to the team. People will debate "greatest shooter of all time" forever, but at least this team will have three players that people can argue about.
8. Chris Mullin
There comes a time you need to have respect for a team’s history. Mullin played more games for the Warriors than anyone else and has nothing to show for it. Dude got to play with amazing teammates, but Golden State could never break through. This is his chance to change history, win a ring of his own and finally set history right.
9. Bill Walton
This is a match made in heaven. His son Luke was an assistant there, he’s more Bay Area than any retired player in history and he’s in prime position to win another ring 30 years after his last.
Only downside would be road trips. There’s no way he’s leaving California unless there’s a Grateful Dead show nearby — but NBA scheduling can fix this.
10. Steve Nash
Is there anyone out there who hates Steve Nash? Seriously. If you meet someone who hates Steve Nash they should not be trusted and immediately shunned. Poor dude did his best on so many teams so many times before and went out on the Lakers. That is unfair.
Nash is already a consultant to the Warriors, so he knows them well. It would be easy to transition to the court.
11. Air Bud
This will be considered cheating by people who get upset by arbitrary internet lists, but I don’t care. It’s time for a dog to win an NBA championship. The sanctity of the game needs to be upheld though, so we’re not sticking some standard mutt on the Warriors — we’re selecting the greatest basketball dog of all time.
This is an undoctored image. Check out the jersey Air Bud is wearing. Looks a whole lot like the Warriors, right? Disney saw this move predestined all the way back in 1997 — we were just too dumb to see it.
Air Bud was released 20 years ago next year. Just in time for a championship.
Honorable mentions: Dino Radja, Mr. Cooper from "Hanging with Mr. Cooper," Kobe Bryant, The Washington Generals (all of them), Shawn Bradley.
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