clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Theo Epstein watched the Cubs game from the Wrigley Field bleachers while wearing a fake mustache

New, comments

It’s the perfect disguise.

The Chicago Cubs are in the midst of a magical regular season. The team is currently sitting cozily atop the National League Central with a cushy 17-game lead. For a team who hasn’t had the best of luck in the postseason in, say, the past century or so, their recent success can be attributed to Theo Epstein. And maybe a little bit of trickery.

No he’s not cheating; the Cubs president of baseball operations is just getting the extra advantage of watching his team up close during games. But he can’t exactly walk down without being seen by a handful of Cubs die-hards who are eager to thank him for building this squad, which is why a fake mustache is the easiest and most effective way to do that.

Seriously, who is going to accuse someone of going to a ballgame in a fake mustache when there are occasionally good dogs and fans in banana suits hanging out and enjoying the game?

While his cover was blown, Epstein didn’t seem to mind at all. The man behind him in the gray polo, however, is a little worried about it.

You have to commend Epstein for his determination to rock that ‘stache. Not even part of it falling and fans watching you apply it back onto your face could stop him from enjoying the game in peace.

That mustache, although it’s fake, is pretty impressive. If anything, most people would be distracted by the fullness and fine cut of the mustache that they probably overlooked the fact that the face they were staring at was Epstein’s. You just have to take a brief second to appreciate a mustache like that. I imagine this is what it feels like to meet Tom Selleck for the first time.

And the Cubs did win their game on Friday against the Brewers 5-4 thanks to a walk-off homer. Maybe Theo should just grow a mustache and sit in the bleachers more often. Better yet, he should try on a few other disguises just so that the fans in attendance don’t get wise to it. Might I recommend the Guy Incognito?