The smell of pigskin. The sound of pads clashing together. The unmistakable silence about concussions. NFL season is back! In honor of this prestigious event, the NFL and Twitter have partnered up for a series of NFL-themed hashtags and emojis. Some of these are quite good — others ... not so much. Let’s rank them!
1. #DawgPound (Cleveland Browns): Because we actually want y’all to win something.
2. #RiseUp (Atlanta Falcons)
3. #SiegeTheDay (Tampa Bay Buccaneers): This conjures up images of a city surrounded by an army with citizens forced to live in dugouts, straining their own pee to have water. Also, you can’t have a siege without a cannon, so maybe that’s why they drafted a kicker in the second round.
4. #GoPackGo (Green Bay Packers)
5. #Skol (Minnesota Vikings): Great for Vikings fans and chewing tobacco enthusiasts.
6. #WhoDey (Cincinnati Bengals)
7. #FlyEaglesFly (Philadelphia Eagles)
8. #KeepPounding (Carolina Panthers): Here’s the problem with the Panthers hashtag: It’s too personal. We know it refers to Sam Mills’ battle with cancer during the 2003 season and has since become a battle cry to run head-on into adversity, but it also sounds like a sex thing. Twitter has already made this a sex thing. Oh god, all the tweets are sex things.
T9. #Jaguars (Jacksonville Jaguars), #Patriots (New England Patriots), #Broncos (Denver Broncos), #Chargers (San Diego Chargers) and #Chiefs (Kansas City Chiefs): Look, there’s nothing wrong with only having your nickname. In fact, it’s pretty appropriate. This is the Alex Smith of hashtags, the cheese pizza — the mild salsa for the person who thinks ketchup is "too spicy."
The logical choice for Jacksonville would be #DUVAL, but I could see a ton of brand confusion between North Florida’s NFL team and the Robert Duvall fan club, which holds its next meeting at the Airport Marriott in Biloxi, Miss., on Oct. 7.
Three of the four teams in the AFC West are so bland they only have their nickname. Makes sense.
14. #RaiderNation (Oakland Raiders): Uninspired, but at least it’s something fans actually use to refer to themselves. It also means they don’t have to go through the hassle of changing it when they move to Las Vegas.
15. #ForTheShoe (Indianapolis Colts)
16. #GoNiners (San Francisco 49ers)
17. #WeAreTexans (Houston Texans): We know already, jeez.
18. #OnePride (Detroit Lions): A pride of lions consists of roughly 40 lions. Basically this hashtag is saying there are only 40 Lions fans left in the wild, which may be accurate — but not great to motivate a fan base.
19. #GiantsPride (New York Giants)
20. #GoBills (Buffalo Bills)
21. #TitanUp (Tennessee Titans): LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
22. #JetUp (New York Jets): Hi, my name is Rodger, and I’m a Jets fan. I have been a Jets fan since 1994. I have never said "Jet Up!" to somebody, I have never heard the phrase "Jet Up!" said to anybody, and I never will say the phrase "Jet Up!" to anybody. I get that the Jets’ signature chant is "J-E-T-S," which is easy to chant but difficult to type and impossible to make into a hashtag. But hey, #GangGreen would have worked! Ask me next time, pay me $100, and I will solve all your problems.
23. #MobSquad (Los Angeles Rams): This one goes all the way back to the team’s St. Louis days, when the defensive line was the only thing good about the team. That’s still the case, but somehow a unit headlined by Aaron Donald still can’t crack the top 10 in sacks. When you stop and think about it, this is a very worthy hashtag for the Jeff Fisher-led Rams.
24. #RavensFlock (Baltimore Ravens): A group of Ravens is not a flock. It is called a "conspiracy," "unkindness," or a "murder." I like to imagine the meeting where the Ravens tried to be accurate about their animal’s collective noun.
"Let’s try #RavensMurder" as the hashtag."
"JESUS NO WHAT ELSE" "how about #RavensConspiracy"
"YOU’RE OFFICIALLY FIRED"
Although to be honest, #RavensUnkindness woulda been dope.
25. #WeAre12 (Seattle Seahawks): Seahawks fans, of course, are 12s, an abbreviation of the concept of being the "12th man." Unfortunately, Texas A&M fans are also The 12th Man, and Texas A&M is wildly litigious about other teams/schools/groups/book clubs/kids’ lemonade stands using the phrase "12th man." In August, the Seahawks and Aggies reached an agreement which prevents the Seattle franchise from referencing "the 12th man" on social media.
Which I presume is how we get "#WeAre12," which is not an affirmation that you’re the 12th man, but is a way to indicate that you are 12 years old. Apologies to any and all Seahawks fans that are not 12 years old.
26. #BeRedSeeRed (Arizona Cardinals): The issue isn’t the hashtag. Look, we know you’ve been using it for a while Cardinals fans. The issue is that y’all need to settle on a single hashtag and you picked the wrong dang one. #BirdGang was perfect, because it evoked a certain strength while also making me imagine an alt-reality version of West Side Story where a third gang, the Birds, came to rumble and sing with the Jets and Sharks.
"Be Red See Red" is a demand. Not everyone should want to be red. In fact, Google tells me that seeing red can be a sign of Diabetic Retinopathy. If you are seeing red, please consult your doctor.
27. #FinsUp (Miami Dolphins): Just picture an anthropomorphic fish in a Tommy Bahama shirt who really likes to vacation in Florida with his buddies but would never live there.
28. #HereWeGo (Pittsburgh Steelers): How the hell did the Steelers get a saying every single person on the face of the earth utters on the reg? It makes no dang sense. In order to test this I went back before the NFL hashtags emerged to see who exactly was using #HereWeGo.
A Blue Jays fan, an Under-9 soccer team and a Queens Park Rangers supporters club from Austin, Texas. Well done, Steelers.
29. #Saints50 (New Orleans Saints): Everyone who is a Saints fan uses #WhoDat as their official hashtag. The NFL tried to claim that trademark as its own, lost the case and here we are with this turd of a hashtag that only official accounts will end up using.
30. #DallasCowboys (Dallas Cowboys): The only thing worse than having your nickname as your hashtag? Your entire team name as your hashtag. Dang Dallas, do better.
31. #FeedDaBears (Chicago Bears): Congratulations, Bears, you have the second-worst hashtag in the NFL. This one is doubly bothersome, because Bears fans already have an INCREDIBLE hashtag in #BearDown, but for some reason that was left by the wayside.
Instead we’re left with this. Not only a bad hashtag, but a bad life instruction. For years we have been told NOT to feed the bears, now the NFL is telling us to do it. Couple that with the fact that #FeedDaBears was only used six times before 2016 and it’s a bad hashtag.
32. #HTTR (Washington): Hi, this tag reeks.