Martellus Bennett has never won more games in a season than he did with the New England Patriots this season. With six touchdowns, he has never scored more, either. That’s got to feel pretty good.
According to Bennett, it feels even better than that.
Martellus Bennett compared winning a lot with the Patriots to having sex: pic.twitter.com/0Q4ndGPHnq— Jeff Howe (@jeffphowe) January 1, 2017
It’s cool. I’m kind of getting use to winning now, you know what I’m saying? At first it’s like, “Yeah!” It’s like the first time having sex. And then your second time and then your third time, it’s like, “Oh yeah, it’s pretty cool. I’m getting better at it.” It’s really fun.
The comparison between sex and football makes sense. Both involve a lot of moving parts, and both can be pretty awkward and terrible when those parts are out of sync. Bennett has apparently found a team that is as giving as he is, finally.
This analogy means that the Browns are terrible at sex.