Another week, another NFL game in which the New York Giants continue to look bad, leading to the eventual demise of Ben McAdoo’s title as head coach. Except this week, they actually won a game while being their typical bad selves — and I mean that in the worst way possible.
After calling for a fake punt on fourth-and-1 that was actually successful early in the game, McAdoo figured, “Why not go for a running back pass inside the red zone?” Because he believes lightning can strike the same place twice.
It ended as well as you might imagine a Shane Vereen pass could go — straight into the hands of the defense:
It was at that point the Chiefs should have made the Giants pay dearly, and yet we still had this terrible back and forth of a game that didn’t feature another touchdown after one early in the second quarter. In fact, the Chiefs never even led at any point.
Those first five weeks of the season when they looked like the best team in football seems like it happened during the Obama presidency — but I digress.
Despite their own efforts to give the game away with things like an unsportsmanlike penalty for headbutting another player, the Giants received their own gifts from the Chiefs, like a Travis Kelce interception and Alex Smith’s second pick of the season.
But once they got the game into overtime at 9-9, Roger Lewis — a guy you’ve probably never heard of until about two seconds ago — came down with one of the best catches from Sunday to put the Giants in position for their game-winning field goal.
McAdoo is like a bad high school student who keeps bringing home Ds and Fs, only to bring home the rare B- to keep his parents content just enough. Though his parents — owner John Mara and general manager Steve Tisch — already gave him that dreaded vote of confidence. They’re gonna kick his ass out of the house sooner or later.
Here’s what else we loved in Week 11.
The Texans prep for a tryout for the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo
Lamar Miller and the Texans celebrated his touchdown against the Cardinals by pretending to be a 4x100m relay race team:
I gotta say — Miller seemed to kinda jog that one out; it’s good he went first and not as the anchor. DeAndre Hopkins, Braxton Miller, and Bruce Ellington made up for it.
But if the Texans are serious about this group celebration business, they have to throw the ultimate twist into this thing like the Steelers would. In Cool Runnings fashion, they should pretend to be a bobsled team next week when they get into the end zone.
I know the Packers did that already. But the continuation of this storyline would be creative. Then they can just continue re-enacting Disney movies in the end zone.
Plus, the Texans’ fans don’t have much to look forward to, if we’re being honest with ourselves. That ended as soon as Deshaun Watson’s knee went bad.
Upon first seeing this, I thought of two things:
- They could have been reminiscing about Petey Pablo’s “Raise Up.”
- My favorite Thanksgiving song of all time that was born last year — the #unameitchallenge.
The Ravens were actually OK in my book last year, before asking for prayers on whether or not they should sign Colin Kaepernick a few months ago, and made this video with the song:
The #unameitchallenge is up there with some of the best holiday songs of all time (though please don’t get it twisted; nothing touches Luther Vandross).
If you aren’t giving the #unameitchallenge multiple spins leading up to Thanksgiving, reconsider how you operate. Please believe I’ll be blasting that on the way to Mr. and Mrs. Lyles’ house on Thursday in anticipation of a wholesome meal.
Sean McDermott benched No. 5, so his replacement threw 5 picks
There has not been a more Kermit Sipping Tea moment in NFL history as there was when Nathan Peterman went out on a football field and threw five interceptions after being named the starter over Tyrod Taylor.
It’s hilarious because that’s one thing Taylor has actually been great about:
Tyrod Taylor has the lowest interception rate in NFL history (at least 1000 attempts).— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) November 19, 2017
I honestly hope Taylor just kept a bottle of Gatorade up to his mouth like Kermit for the entire first half as this disaster was happening. Not only did the Bills get rocked by the Chargers, but they also took a blow to their postseason hopes.
Give Sean McDermott credit though: Peterman was more efficient than Taylor. At least,when it came to the rate at which he was throwing interceptions:
Nathan Peterman now has three interceptions on eight pass attempts today.— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) November 19, 2017
Tyrod Taylor has three interceptions on 254 pass attempts this season.
We could have stopped there, but Peterman had to get a couple of more in there, obviously.
To sum up Peterman’s afternoon in one tweet and image:
Every Charger in this photo has intercepted or will intercept Nathan Peterman today. pic.twitter.com/jnvTXVwgxQ— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) November 19, 2017
The last time Peterman had that many picks, he was probably drafting in franchise mode in Madden. This will probably be a game he will try to keep from the grandkids, until they punch the old man’s name up into Google and see everybody talking spicy about him and these dank memes.
Cardale Jones got a laugh out of the Bills
The Bills traded quarterback Cardale Jones this summer to the Chargers. You might have heard or read recently (like, one minute ago) that Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman had a five-interception game.
The Chargers won that game 54-24. While Jones didn’t play, he still felt good:
⚡️— Cardale Jones (@Cardale7_) November 20, 2017
He should. Because not even Jones would have thrown five interceptions in 14 passes. That man came off the bench and won a national championship.
Brock Osweiler said what most of us think when we see he’s starting a game
You know, the Broncos were so wholesome when Papa John’s seller and part-time quarterback Peyton Manning was still under center yelling, “Omaha!”
Now, we’ve got Brock Osweiler yelling “No! God damn it, no!”
"NO! God dammit, no!" will forever be my favorite Brock Osweiler pre-snap call pic.twitter.com/kEN9bOGOzd— Andrew Joseph (@AndyJ0seph) November 19, 2017
The video is evergreen as long as The Tall Guy is playing quarterback.
Blake Bortles shot a skyhook
Blake Bortles isn’t great at throwing a football, despite his starting status as a quarterback in the National Football League.
Sunday, he actually did something good by trying out Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s famous skyhook to get the ball to Leonard Fournette and avoid a sack. It worked in terms of avoiding the sack, though it didn’t travel too far:
While we can appreciate Bortles’ effort, he’ll never be a Laker. He’s barely a Jaguar.
IS THAT PEE?
This is Green Bay Packers defensive tackle Mike Daniels, and that looks like pee:
Before we determine whether or not this is actually pee, I highly recommend all NFL players squad up with the staff on the sideline and find a way to relieve yourself like Dexter McDougle.
Teamwork makes the pee work, or something.
After the game, Daniels denied it was pee. “I sweat a lot down there. Everybody was like, ‘Did you pee your pants?’ No, I did not pee my pants,” Daniels said via ESPN’s Jason Wilde.
OTHER THINGS FROM WEEK 11
- BIG GUY INTERCEPTION!
- All kickers need to be emergency kickers.
- Mike Zimmer thought he was being cool, then regretted it.
- Case Keenum pulled off a throw with some Madden pocket presence.
- Packers players kept turning invisible. Yes, it’s possible.
- Mike Wallace had one of the best catches of the day and followed it with a Lambeau Leap.
- What does the Fox say.... when it’s dead?
- Dede Westbrook is a smooth criminal.
- Challenges were weird on Sunday.
- The Browns were their most disciplined in 55 years, and it didn’t matter.
- Mitchell Trubisky had his comeback effort trashed by a kicker.
- The Packers got shut out at home EXACTLY 11 years after the last time they were shut out at home.
- The Saints came back to beat Washington. I wonder if Kirk Cousins likes it?
- Dre Kirkpatrick got stripped by a ghost.
- Marshawn Lynch sat for the U.S. anthem and stood for the Mexico anthem.
- Stephen Gostkowski almost kicked this one back to the States.
- Tony Romo took his predictions international.
- “WHAT DID THE FIIIIIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?!”
Ravens 23, Packers 0
Jaguars 19, Browns 7
Buccaneers 30, Dolphins 20
Saints 34, Washington 31 (OT)
Giants 12, Chiefs 9 (OT)
Texans 31, Cardinals 21
Chargers 54, Bills 24
Bengals 20, Broncos 17