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The Kitten Bowl is better than the Puppy Bowl because cats are better than dogs

Cats are creatures to be revered, not mocked by rhetorical questions about who’s a good boy.

Animal Sanctuary Needs £200,000 To Avoid Closure Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

We are living in trying times. This is an era of emotional anxiety, where we are battered from all sides by monsoons of tragedy. Every news is bad news, every day is worse than the one before. The days start to bleed into one another, becoming one long, anxious, and sleepless period. A stretch that’s powered by the chaotic and endless stream of information.

The information age then has become the age of noise. In this static, truth and falsehood have become indistinguishable, and we often find ourselves accepting lies that good sense in other ages would have compelled us to denounce. Lies like the belief that the Puppy Bowl is better than the Kitten Bowl.

There is nothing at all wrong with the Puppy Bowl. After all, the annual event, like the Kitten Bowl, is an act of compassion. It serves to raise awareness for the animals, so that they can be adopted and loved as they deserve to be. Only a heartless person could look at such a kind endeavor with contempt.

Nor is there anything wrong with puppies to a larger degree. They’re, for a lack of better phrasing, generally good dogs. Though I do not own one, I am a big fan of theirs. The happiness with which they greet their owners is akin to the child-like giddiness that the world is desperately lacking in. They are excellent service and alert animals, social creatures who can easily boost the mood of the most despondent among us, and there are countless examples of their loyalty, from the inspiring to the heartbreaking — videos of dogs waiting in vain for their owners to return are hardly ever seen by a dry eye.

They’re also cute.

But, just because we adore puppies is no reason for us to accept a distortion of reality. This love is nothing more than a premise to a false conclusion. A sinister judgment that’s been supported by perpetual propaganda that suggests that cats are not only lesser creatures, but that they are supposedly mean and unfeeling things.

You’ve undoubtedly felt one of the winds of misinformation. From the gale force of lies. You’ve borne witness to such suggestions, sometimes under the guise of science, that cats are evil.

That one can only like cats because you’re being manipulated by a brain parasite called Toxoplasma gondii.

That they don’t love their owners, and their shows of affection are just ways for them to claim their property.

That cat owners are misguided.

That the natural hunting talents of cats make them vindictive killers.

That cat people are lonely people.

That cats are manipulative, and even the sensational suggestion that they will eat you once you’re dead.

With all of this hatred toward cats, and declarations that are often written and said while praising dogs, it’s no wonder why anyone would think that the Puppy Bowl is superior to the Kitten Bowl. It is not even the merit of the sport that decides this.

Dogs, according to the noise, are supposedly good in all ways, so anything that they do is good, while cats, even kittens, are terrible creatures, thus even the good things that they do are seen as isolated behaviors different from their general evilness.

Propaganda works, and people will ultimately gravitate to the people, places, and animals that they’ve been told are better.

That the Puppy Bowl is better than the Kitten Bowl isn’t an argument of sport, but of the character of the participants, and it’s an argument that’s been corrupted. One that’s been infested with so many outlandish lies, for so long, that we’ve just come to accept the lies as truth out of exhaustion. We’ve failed in our vigilance toward honesty.

Yet, a lie is a lie and the light of the truth will always shine through in the end. Cats are better than dogs. Kittens, better than puppies. The Kitten Bowl, far cuter and much more wonderful than the Puppy Bowl will ever be.

The disdain for cats, like all irrational hatreds that try to support weak beliefs with pseudo-science, lies in insecurity. If the love of dogs were valid and could stand on its own, there would be no need to denigrate cats in the same breath. A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.

The competition, the lies, the admonishments and demonization comes when security in one’s self, and one’s love, is shaky. This can easily be explained by why people think cats are evil in the first place. That cats do not reciprocate feelings the way dogs do, that they don’t obey commands to the same extents, and that cats are often self-sufficient. That they don’t need humans and they’re not shy about that fact.

Where dogs seem to have a Secure Attachment, cats lean more into the Avoidant Attachment zone.

It is more telling of the humans than the animals that cats are seen as being bad because they don’t fulfill the human’s thirst to be needed. That they have the audacity to have a life beyond their owners, even if that life consists of cleaning themselves.

Furthermore, that dogs are a man’s best friend can’t be argued, but it has to be said that it is partially because dogs were the first domesticated animals. The two species have grown and evolved together and thus are attuned to each other. For centuries, dogs have done the bidding and filled emotional needs of people, from herding sheep to protection to helping the elderly and the blind. Their importance is clear and true.

Cats don’t usually do that. They can, but it’s not the same relationship. They weren’t domesticated, they only decided to live alongside humans.

The Ancient Egyptians saw cats as sacred animals. Bastet, the goddess of warfare, was often pictured with a cat’s head. In the Age of Discovery, they were taken onto boats as good luck charms. The Japanese saw them as a symbol of good fortune. Some religions believe them to be human guides. Norse mythology depicts the chariot of Freya, goddess of love, as being drawn by cats.

So cats were never on the same plane of existence as man, they’ve always been above. They have always been divine. They are royalty. They are creatures to be revered and thanked, not mocked by rhetorical questions about who’s a good boy.

How, then, can creatures with a rich history like that be expected to fawn over their supposed owners? Humans that they’ve always been equal or above to? It’s unbecoming, to say the least. If they wished to be arrogant, they have a right to do so. Their place in history demands it.

Yet they are not. While some people sneer at them because they hold themselves in high regard and will not demean themselves by sniffing their own poop, cats go on about their day and continue to love those who deserve it. The difference between their love, and that of dogs, is that dogs love blindly out of need, while cats asked to be earned. They know their worth.

But when a cat loves you, it loves in the perfect way — without anxiety or need. They come to you when they are in the mood for affection and leave you alone when they, or you, are not. To insecure people, that type of behavior can seem not only distant but insulting, but then again, cats have never been companions to the weak-willed.

The day of the Super Bowl, there will be three competitions: one between cats, another between dogs, and the last between humans. You can choose to watch man’s best friend and then man compete that day, or you can choose to witness something better. Something cuter, more refined, and fun. A battle between celestial creatures. A Bowl with godlike participants.

You can watch the Kitten Bowl and witness the best of animals frolic around and hope to be adopted, or you can diminish your own spirit by denying it such a religious experience.