Tim Tebow got a hit, and you should respect his baseball skill

Hello, it is me again, the professional baseball writer who is forced to write about Tim Tebow playing baseball because of specific language contained within my contract. In the past, this has resulted in me making fun of Tebow, which resulted in people yelling at me.

Well, look who’s the chucklehead now. Me. I’m the chucklehead. Tim Tebow got a hit, and we should all respect his baseball skill.

It is only fair to note the following:

• If Kyle Lobstein threw a baseball within three feet of me, I would flinch and yelp in imagined pain
• The last time I hit in a batting cage, my 8-year-old daughter felt sorry for me and gave me advice on where to stand
• I stopped playing baseball when I was 16 because I wasn’t good anymore, and I wanted to spend more time acting in high-school musicals
• That is a better swing and a better result than I could ever have in that same situation
• Tim Tebow is a fantastic athlete
• I am scared of bees, which hurt way less than 90-mph fastballs, so this hit was extra impressive to me
• Tim really smacked that ball the opposite way, good for Tim, hey, way to pepper the ol’ horsehide, Tim.

Does this mean that Tebow will ever play in a regular-season game? Ha ha, I don’t know. Teams have used roster spots for publicity purposes before, and they might again. And don’t forget the part where he’s a fantastic athlete, which gives him a better chance than me. Or you. Don’t get too smug.

Does this mean that Tebow will ever succeed in the major leagues? Well, no. But he did get a hit. That means it’s time for some atonement. He is better at baseball than me, and I would like to make that perfectly clear.

Also, Tim Tebow got a hit in a spring training game, and you clicked on a link to learn about it. Good work, you. We’re all having a real productive day, in my opinion.