The Charlotte Knights are becoming the Charlotte Pitmasters for one game, and you have questions

I had to search for the name of the minor league baseball team in Charlotte. I knew it was the Triple-A team, and I thought it had something to do with “Barons” or something, but I wasn’t sure.

It’s Knights. The Charlotte Knights.

I don’t have to search for the name of the minor league team in Montgomery. It’s Biscuits. Their logo is a biscuit. One of their mascots is a biscuit. The other mascot is a creature that eats biscuits. This is all very easy to remember. Because of the biscuits.

However, for one night, the Charlotte Knights will become the Charlotte Pitmasters:

You have questions. I’ll do my best.

1. Isn’t Pitmasters a better name for a minor league team in North Carolina than Knights?

Yes. Yes, it is. Other possibilities would include the Charlotte Whole Hogs or the Charlotte Pork Shoulders (depending on who you want to offend), the Charlotte Smokers, the Charlotte Pulled Porkers, and the Charlotte Hey South Carolina Your Mustard Ass-Sauce Is Trash Knights.

But Pitmasters is probably the least offensive and it gets the point across.

2. So they’re going to make this a permanent switch at some point, right?

Oh, yeah. Those logos and jerseys weren’t designed by an intern who’s there for the spring. They paid cash money to a company that handles brands like this for a living.

If they were named after Stevie Knight, eccentric billionaire owner, you might understand any reticence about a name change. But, no, this is how the Knights came to be:

In 1989, Shinn changed the team's nickname to the Knights through a "Name the Team" contest and also switched affiliations from Baltimore to the Chicago Cubs. A year later, Shinn moved the club to Knights Stadium, a 10,002-seat state-of-the-art facility located in Fort Mill, South Carolina.

There were four entries in that contest, and they all came from panicky stoned teenagers. There is not sentimental attachment.

3. Why is that logo hideous?

What, this logo?

4. What is it made out of?

Probably a blend of cotton and polyester.

5. No, what is the mascot supposed to be?

A pulled pork sandwich.

6. A pulled pork sandwich with angry eyes and wisps of white hair, including one wisp that looks like a skeletal hand?

Uh, yeah.

7. Do you think this pulled pork sandwich would scream when you ate it?

Definitely.

8. Could you eat a pulled pork sandwich that was screaming as you bit into it?

Yes.

9. Do you think the eyeballs would be gristly, or would they pop with flavor?

I could see them being a little tough, but I could also see people using them as the reason why their region’s barbecue was the only authentic barbecue.

“Oh, man, it’s not a real pulled pork sandwich without the angry eyeballs and stubby fingers. And it has to scream in dying terror with each bite. That’s why Texas can’t do pulled pork right.”

10. Do you have a minor league team name generator I could play with for a few hours?

I do! You can find that here.

Well, that does it for this post on the Charlotte Pitmasters, but don’t be surprised if the change becomes official at some point. It’s a much, much better name than Charlotte Knights, and it’s hard to imagine someone disagreeing.