Mike Mayock ranted about orangutans announcing NFL draft picks. He is wrong.

Mike Mayock, the NFL Network’s draft guru, is not a fan of the fact that Colts had an orangutan from the Indianapolis zoo making the guest picks for the team on the third day of the draft.

He was mad on TV about it, even threatening to leave the show.

“If we’re going back to the zoo, I’m walking off the desk,” Mayock said. “I’ve about had the zoo, OK? Enough. Enough. I mean, is this good TV?”

WELL ACTUALLY, it is good television, as good as you can make television showing the fifth round of the NFL draft.

Let’s break this down a bit with some sane takes.

It is not disrespectful to the players

Mayock argued that it took away from the importance of the day for the player being drafted and his family.

“I think we’ve got to be a little respectful,” Mayock said. “It’s a big day for Grover Stewart, and rather than talking about that chimp, let’s get back to some football here. It’s a big day for him.”

It is a big day for him. And he’s there with his family, having a little party, getting a phone call from the team. In the weeks ahead, he’ll be at the team facility, working out with them and starting his pro career.

He’ll also be getting paid to play football for the first time in his life. A cutaway to an Indianapolis community institution participating in the local NFL team’s third day draft pick selections is not taking away from this young man’s special day.

TV person thinks too highly of the medium

This sounds a lot like a case of a man on TV with an overly high opinion of what it means to be on TV. Never mind the fact just how boring this would be if all they showed was a table of guys talking about the draft for six hours and clips of someone in a suit from the team making their selection.

You’ll note that he isn’t complaining about the weird Walking Dead glorified commercial that the Rams did for their pick earlier in the day. The Raiders made a pitch for Las Vegas tourism. The Jaguars shilled for a golf course. Mayock wasn’t bitching about those promotional tie-ins.

He wasn’t complaining about the retired players from team announcing the picks either. Or the people announcing the Eagles and Cowboys picks going all in on their rivalry. Those were neat. Not as fun as a primate eating a snack and tapping a touchscreen, but enjoyable nonetheless.

The whole damn draft broadcast is a dang spectacle

The NFL squeezes all they can out of everything their sport does. They have a primetime special to announce the schedule ... THE SCHEDULE.

The NFL Draft is three days long. It used to be two. And way back before someone had the bright idea to put the whole thing on TV and sell ads against it, they did it in one day.

It’s three days long because the NFL wanted to get even more mileage out of it. And, no disrespect to the players being selected after the third round, it’s not real interesting to watch for a lot of even the most diehard fans.

"We won't go back to outer space if we don't go to the zoo, Mike,” Rich Eisen said in a needed moment of levity.

The people at the NFL Network have to do what they can to make the eight-hour Saturday broadcast interesting enough to keep people watching. That’s why we get people making picks at the Grand Canyon ... such a tacky spectacle, can’t believe we’re seeing gaudy natural spectacles instead of four middle aged men throwing around cliches like sneaky athleticism!

Sure, we could do away with the adorable orangutang. Turning off the TV and getting outside to enjoy a few hours of spring instead of watching day three of the NFL draft would probably do us all some good. But the NFL wants to put this on TV, and some people want to watch it. As long as that’s the case, we want the primate!

Update: A hat tip to Mayock here, by the end of the draft show he was FINALLY buying into the joke.