I put LaVar Ball's family in NBA 2K and made them play against Dr. J

Hey, you clicked!

You must either ...

A) like 2k simulations or

B) feel so strongly about the Ball family one way or another that you felt compelled to see what was going to happen to this virtual simulation.

I don’t care either way. All that matters to me is that you’re here. So without further ado, I present to you ...

THE BROOKLYN BIG BALLERS

It’s lit.

To try to make this original, I decided to have them play a random 2k classic team instead of a Michael Jordan-led team. To choose this team, I pressed random three times and wound up with ...

This is going to be fun.

LET’S SIM!

Difficulty: Hall of Fame (duh)
Quarters: Six minutes

1st quarter:

The Brooklyn Big Ballers didn’t get off to a good start. The 76ers’ bigs were giving both LaVars problems early on, and the high-sock-wearing, Converse-sporting 76ers were flying in transition.

Peep the wheels on Doug Collins!

Dr. J wasn’t messing around either. Buckets.

End of 1st: The Big Ballers are facing mismatches at both the power forward and center position. Oh yeah, and Dr. J is still on the team. It would be a shame if he were to ... oh, I don’t know ... take over the game or something.

2nd quarter:

The 76ers’ bigs are starting to make their presence felt on both sides of the floor. This advantage led to many possessions like these:

To be fair, it is the legendary Darryl Dawkins.

Halftime: Brooklyn Big Ballers down 31-21

The Big Ballers are still within striking distance!

3rd quarter: Lonzo Ball takeover time

The LaMelo-to-Lonzo combo was clicking in the 3rd. Halftime adjustment?

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

Defensive stops? You bet.

Whenever it seemed the 76ers were going to break the lead wide open, Lonzo would step up and make a crucial play.

THROW IT DOWN YOUNG LONZO!

Dr. J didn’t care though.

He let the Slam Cam play and everything. The disrespect.

End of 3rd: The Big Ballers closed the gap a little bit, but can they pull off the comeback?

4th quarter: “Nah.” - 76ers

Despite the valiant effort of the Ball family, the presence of Dawkins and George McGinnis were too much inside and the Big Ballers came up short.

Player of the game?

SURPRISE!

Final stats:

Let’s check on the Big Ballers.

I forgot they all say, “L. Ball”. One second.

---

All right, so I did the math and added up the stat totals between the Ball clones.

Here are the stats:

Lonzo Ball: 26 points, six rebounds, two assists, three steals
LaMelo Ball: 12 points, one rebound, three assists, three steals
LiAngelo Ball: Seven points, seven rebounds, two assists, two steals
LaVar Ball: four points, two rebounds, zero assists, one steal

The Big Ballers played a tough game, but it just wasn’t enough to beat a Dr. J-led 76ers squad.

On to the next one.