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Ranking grilled foods, with hot dogs No. 1

Happy Memorial Day!

The most important thing to do on Memorial Day is honor the memories of those who died serving our country.

The second most important thing to do on Memorial Day is grill. So without further ado, here is a definitive ranking of Grilled Stuff, from worst to best, with apologies to my colleague Michael Katz for not including harissa-marinated tofu skewers.

I am anticipating getting yelled at by the internet masses for putting hot dogs first, but this is my blog and I stand by it.

26. Any part of your body by accident

25. Fake burgers

24. Summer squash

23. Lettuces

22. All other vegetables

21. THREE-WAY TIE: eggplant/asparagus/mushrooms

20. Artichokes

19. Scallions

18. Pineapple

17. Stone fruit

16. Catfish

15. Whiting fish

14. All other fish

13. TIE: salmon/tuna

12. Corn on the cob

11. TIE: an avocado/your down payment on a home

10. Pork chops

9. Any bun situation

8. Hamburgers

7. Sausages

6. Chicken

5. Cheap Steaks

4. Cheeseburgers

3. Ribs

2. Slightly less-cheap steaks

1. Hot dogs