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This umpire took a pitch right to the beans. We’re talking *right* to the beans.

This was not a glancing blow. Thoughts and prayers.

Here at SB Nation, it used to be our brand to curate all things related to baseball-related bean collisions. This is because the editorial staff has an average age of 10 years old, and so does the internet.

Then as MLB started getting protective over their videos, we cooled it a little. When it comes to fair use, there’s a fine line between “look at this GIF of a pitcher’s new delivery because it is essential to this story” and “look at this umpire getting hit in the beans because it’s funny.”

With that out of the way, let’s look at this umpire getting hit in the beans. Because it’s funny.

In honor of this feature returning, we’d like to introduce a new wrinkle: The BEANS Score™*, in which we rank the unfortunate incidents on a scale from one to 10. Note that we would never actually write about a 10 because it would involve hospitals and wouldn’t be funny anymore. So the scale is more of a 1-to-8.

An example of a “1” might be Joel Peralta, who’s sort of jimmy-jacking around of his own accord.

An “8” would be this poor minor-league coach:

Eh, that’s kind of off to the side. So maybe an 8 would be this fan:

No, that deflected off another fan’s arm. Maybe Craig Monroe?

Yeah, that’s close. Glad we figured that out, and it certainly wasn’t a cheap excuse to drop those GIFs in here. ANYWAY, I’m thinking that umpire Mike Muchlinski’s direct shot is a clear 8. No deflection. Nothing to stop the momentum. Santiago Casilla throws in the 90s with sink, too. It didn’t feel good.

Play resumed and Muchlinski stayed in the game. Bless him.

But, friends, I have some advice.

You can’t bring up balls and strikes with Muchlinski right now. It’s a very, very sore subject.