Pat Monahan, the lead singer of Train, sang the national anthem at Game 1 of the NBA Finals in Oakland. This means the Cavaliers will win the series in five.
Don’t know who that is? He’s this guy.
Still not sure? Train is the band responsible for such hits as “Meet Virginia,” “Drops of Jupiter,” “Hey Soul Sister,” and “Drive By.” If that doesn’t help you, well, get on YouTube and look it up.
Now, not to bash Train or Mr. Monahan or anything, but this legitimately seems like a very weird choice of national anthem performer. At first I thought, “Oh, maybe he’s from Oakland and they wanted a hometown boy,” but no, he’s from Pennsylvania.
Also, I looked up their tour dates, and Train has a show in Atlanta the next day. It’s not even like they picked someone who was touring in the area because it was convenient. This is the opposite of convenient. Why did they do this to him?!
So who else could the Warriors have chosen?
- E-40 (an actual local boy)
- Lil B (as a gesture of goodwill toward Kevin Durant, since he lifted his curse when KD signed with the Warriors. Also Lil B loves the Warriors deeply.)
- Steve Harwell (the lead singer of Smash Mouth is from San Jose and also “All Star” is the best meme of our time)
- Green Day (lead singer is from Oakland, also Green Day is more exciting than Train)
- Daveed Diggs (let’s mix Hamilton and the NBA because why not)
- Air Bud (could bark the national anthem, is a good sports dog)
- Drake (he would literally die if we gave him this opportunity. Please let him have this.)